It’s common courtesy to give up the seat on public transport for those who need it. Usually, this entails older passengers, pregnant women, or anyone with health issues who can’t stand for a long amount of time. However, some people feel entitled to other’s seats for entirely absurd reasons, often trying to take advantage of other people’s kindness.
Just like this family, who demanded that busy working passengers give up their seats because they want to sit together. Understandably, they were immediately shut down, which left them shooting dirty looks at them for the rest of the journey.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with its author, who kindly agreed to tell us more about it.
It’s not hard to give up a seat on a public transport for those who need it
Image credits: davidpradoperucha (not the actual photo)
However, this family totally tried to abuse people kindness on a train for which they were quickly shut down
Image credits: zamrznutitonovi (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Academic_Rip_8908
“I will not move seats for a healthy family who are still able to sit together, albeit in two rows”
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the story, who tells us that they shared it online to show how people with kids can often feel entitled to special treatment purely because they have children. “In the r/childfree community, others without children understand how frustrating it can be, navigating a world that is largely catered towards parents, where people without kids are just expected to cater to these entitled people,” they say.
Unfortunately, this is not the first time they experience such entitled behavior of others while travelling. “I’ve had situations on planes where parents haven’t pre-booked their seats and thrown a fit getting people to swap seats. I had a situation once on the Eurostar (London to Paris) where a couple asked if I’d give up my premier class seat, for the boyfriends economy seat, so they could sit together. This kind of entitled behaviour isn’t specific to parents, but I feel that people have this entitlement of, if they are in a group, their experience and needs matter more, which I disagree with.”
However, if someone really needs a seat, the original poster always gives it up without hesitation. “I always offer my seat to the elderly, pregnant, or anyone who asks nicely. But I will not move seats for a healthy family who are still able to sit together, albeit in two rows. Also, in my story 4 of us were already occupying the table, why should the family assume we aren’t all travelling together?”
Offering a seat or asking for one isn’t as straightforward as it might seem
Offering a seat or asking for one isn’t as straightforward as it might seem. Mostly because people are nervous of getting it wrong. Like insulting older people who still feel good enough to stand or feminists who might feel offended when others assume that women automatically should be given a seat. Perhaps the scariest scenario of all is asking a person to give up their seat only to find out they needed it more than you, even though it didn’t look like it at first.
So many people prefer to avoid making a mistake altogether and pretend not to notice a person who might be struggling to stand by putting headphones in their ears and focusing their attention on a podcast or a mind-numbing game. Some do it out of selfishness or want to shift their responsibility to others and expect them to do the right thing, says Dr. Oliver Scott Curry, a human behaviour expert.
“Everyone can be waiting for someone else to do it, thinking ‘why should it be me? I’m exhausted.’ They’re just passing the buck,” he says.
On the other hand, people who need a seat might shy away from asking for it, not wanting to make a fuss or inconvenience others. But your health should come first, right notes disability charity Scope. “You’re asking for a seat because you need it. Resting and reducing your standing time could be important for managing your condition. If people react badly to a polite request, that’s not your fault. Other people will be supportive, so try to ask someone else,” they recommend.
“Keep on the lookout for opportunities to help”
Those who might be nervous of feminists “biting their heads off” for offering them a seat still can’t deny those who needs one. “It’s usually clear when someone needs a seat as they are either looking for [one] or trying to make eye contact. People should offer,” says social etiquette expert Mary Killen. “It’s worth getting your head snapped off, because these little acts of recognition of other humans are of such value,” she adds.
“If you are unsure about offering in case you cause offence you don’t need to verbally offer,” writes Corry Shaw, founder of the Look Up campaign. “Just stand and if the person needs the seat believe me they will jump right in it (or sort of wobble into it if it’s me).”
Some transport companies are trying to make these awkward moments easier by introducing “Please offer me a seat” badges for those who need them. This can be very helpful for people whose impairment or condition is less visible or they don’t feel comfortable asking.
Dr. Curry concludes by saying, “Keep on the lookout for opportunities to help. Don’t be afraid to offer—the benefits of helping outweigh the occasional costs of offending. And, if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask!”
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