A groom planned a wedding and funeral in the space of a week after losing his childhood sweetheart just five days after tying the knot. Dave McLoughlin, 35, wed his partner of almost 19 years, Michelle Crowe, 33, on March 20, 2023 - before she lost her battle with breast cancer on March 25.
The family’s world was turned upside down when Michelle was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2022. Following chemotherapy and a mastectomy on Valentine's Day this year her cancer returned "with a vengeance" in March.
Michelle was admitted to hospital; and with the help of the staff Dave was able to marry his fiancé of seven years in the hospital chapel and says the ceremony was “amazing”. Dave - who met Michelle when they were just 16 and 17 - is now raising their two children, Cillian, 13, Oisin, 14-months-old, alone.
The grieving widow said he still puts his hand out for Michelle to hold in the car and still calls up to ask her for a cup of coffee - forgetting she's gone - but said he is “here for the boys”. Dave, a dad-of-two,, said: “Everybody who met her fell in love with her.
“She’s really small but really tough. She’s unassuming. No matter how many times she gets knocked down, she gets back up. She was the happiest person you have ever met.
“The pain gets worse and worse. I’m in the car and I hold my hand out for her and call out for a coffee. I’ll never look at anyone in the same way.
“She was one-in-a-million. I’m here for the boys.”
After bumping into each other in Tipperary, Ireland, in June 2004, the pair became “welded to each other” and welcomed their first child, Cillian, in December 2009. Dave got down on one knee to pop the question on May 30, 2016, but the pair hadn’t found the time to plan a wedding - after suffering family loss over seven years.
Dave lost his mum, Noreen, 72, in December 2019, to lung cancer and Michelle lost both her parents, John and Nora Crowe, 57, over that time too. He said: “Michelle had been wanting it – to get married.
“It took me 12 years to pop the question – but I made it a spectacle. We didn’t want a traditional wedding.”
After suffering so much loss, the couple were shocked when Michelle discovered a lump on her breast in July 2022 – just seven months after having their second son, Oisin, in January. Over next two months the lump grew and, after visiting her GP in September, the mum was told she had an 8cm tumour left breast and was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Michelle started chemotherapy in November to try and shrink the tumour but after that didn’t work, she had a mastectomy on February 14, 2023, and thought she was “clean as a whistle”. David said: “The surgery went well.
“We got told – plan away for your summer.”
But a few weeks later Michelle started to complain of a pain in her stomach and discovered her cancer was back and had to spread to her liver. Dave said: “I remember walking in and she was looked stone cold dead and ashy.
“It came back with a vengeance. I was falling apart. Michelle was still trying to be upbeat. We both knew what this meant but we didn’t want to talk about it.
“We never really needed to have a final conversation. We were so in sync. A nurse asked me - ‘do you want to get married?’
“She said we could get married on the ward.”
The hospital staff arranged for the couple to wed at the chapel on March 20 and played all their favourite songs – including 'Somewhere over the rainbow' by Judy Garland. Dave said: “She made it her mission to walk down the aisle.
“She looked absolutely gorgeous.”
The staff hung LED lights around Michelle’s hospital room and left them non-alcoholic wine. “I want to thank the nurses and staff," Dave said. "It’s not how we pictured our wedding night, but they made it just as special."
The next day doctors told the couple there wasn’t much else they could do, and Michelle slipped away in the early hours of Saturday 25, March. Dave said: “We sat around her bed and cracked open a bottle of gin.
“It’s what she would have wanted.”
The family held a wake for Michelle the following Monday and said the church was “packed” and the village went pink for her – including some people dyeing and shaving their heads. Dave said: “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.
“Her favourite thing to do was sit in the garden at the firepit and sit out and listen to songs into the early hours. I’ve not listened to a song since. She loved music.
“She loved our kids more than anything. She put everybody ahead of herself.”
