A grieving mother who lost her son to suicide wants to set up a support group for those whose loved ones have taken their own lives as she admits she is still struggling to come to terms with the death of her "cheeky" 22-year-old. Nicola Robertson, 42, has shared her grief after losing her electrician son Tyler in July 2020.
Nicola, a mother-of-three from South Tyneside, hopes to set up a support group to help those who have lost loved ones to suicide after realising there was "little support" out there after Tyler took his own life. He had been suffering with low mood and mental health difficulties before he passed away, ChronicleLive reports.
Paying tribute to her son, Nicola said Tyler had always been "outgoing and happy-go-lucky", was a gym fanatic and was "dead cheeky". He was working away as an electrician in London when he passed away.
Although she knows she cannot bring her beloved son back, she hopes that by setting up SAFFE, Suicide Affects Friends/Families Everywhere, she will be able to help those who are also struggling. As well as supporting loved ones left behind, Nicola is also hoping SAFFE will be able to hold sessions for those who feel they have no one else to confide in.
The mother-of-three, who also has a 21-year-old daughter called Skye and an 18-year-old daughter called Libby, said she knew something was wrong when she was unable to get in touch with Tyler on the phone. She said his boss in London went to the apartment when he was staying in Camden and discovered that he had tragically passed away.
Police then arrived at his family home in Hebburn, South Tyneside, and gave Nicola and his dad Lee, 50, the heartbreaking news. Nicola said: "I don't know if it was a mother's instinct but I had a gut feeling when I couldn't get in touch with him and he hadn't rang me.
"Tyler was always outgoing, happy-go-lucky and he was always the class clown. He was dead cheeky and he would do anything for anybody.
"I knew he hadn't been well for a few weeks. I could tell by his mood and his mannerisms. He wasn't himself."
Nicola said her son had been struggling in the months prior to him travelling down to London for work. She said his mood was low and he had admitted to her that he had tried to end his life. On one occasion, he was taken to South Tyneside District Hospital in South Shields after ringing the police and asking them for help.
Nicola said: "He was dead sensitive. He took things in and they played on his mind but he didn't let on. In around May time I saw the change in him.
"The first time I knew there was something really wrong was when he was looking for his car keys for work and he couldn't find them. I said 'You're useless you, you're always losing something!'. He said 'I know I'm useless, I tried to hang himself and that didn't work'.
"I tried to ring the doctors and get him help. He went out one night and he rang the police and he said 'I need help, I can't live in this life anymore'. We rang the police and reported him missing and they said 'we've already had a phone call from him'. The police found him at 7 o'clock the following morning and took him to hospital.
"He used to go to Morgan's Gym in Pelaw. He was a proper gym fanatic, he was at the gym everyday. It wasn't until after he died that I found out that he had messaged the owner saying 'Can you not just sneak me in the back door because I feel like I need it right now'.
"The gym helped him a lot. I think he was struggling because he couldn't go. He must have been otherwise he wouldn't have sent that message to the gym owner."
Nicola said that Tyler had been paid off from his job as an electrician due to the Covid-19 pandemic. She said that he was offered work in London and so he travelled down to the capital for the job.
Nicola said Tyler had worked away before with his dad Lee and that his mood seemed to pick up. She said the following Monday, on July 13, he told her that he was going for a few pints with a lad from work.
She said: "I told him to watch what he was doing and I'll speak to him on the Tuesday." However she was unable to get in touch with her son the following day. Nicola said: "Come the Wednesday I knew for a fact he wasn't coming back. I had a gut feeling."
Nicola said Lee, who also works as an electrician, rang Tyler's boss and he told him he would ring him back. She said: "At this point, his boss had literally just found him.
"Obviously he hadn't turned into work on the Tuesday. When he went into work on the Wednesday the other lads on the job told him his electrician hadn't turned in for two days.
"He went around to the apartment where Tyler was staying and that where he found him. About 15 minutes later, the police knocked on the door saying our son's passed away."
Nicola said that Tyler was well-known in his home town and hundreds of people turned up to his funeral at Hebburn Cemetery. She said she also received numerous messages from people she didn't know.
She said: "He was just a lovely lad and he had lots of friends. Even when he died people were messaging me from all around the world - I thought how did he know these people. Whenever he was on holiday or working away he would talk to anybody.
"He had a great relationship with his dad. His dad always says he's lost his best friend, his son, his work mate and his gym partner. They used to work together, go to the gym together and go to the pictures together."
Writing on her GoFundMe page, which aims to raise £1,000 to help fund the set-up of SAFFE, Nicola said: "After losing Tyler I've came to realize there is little support out there to help families and friends with the loss of their loved ones. And no one can relate to the pain you feel unless they have lost someone to suicide themselves.
"I have decided to start this support group so family and friends can come together and either talk or just listen to each other as we have all suffered the same traumatic experience and can all relate to one another. Whether their loved one died seven years, seven months or seven weeks ago, at one time someone's been at that stage and may be able to help someone else who is at that stage of their grief. It will never go away but our lives change and we have to learn to live our lives without their loved one in it.
"I know I can never bring Tyler back, I so wish I could. But in setting this group up and helping and supporting others gives me comfort knowing something has came of Tyler's death.
"And I feel if I could help even just one person then it would be so worthwhile to me. I feel Tyler will be behind me 100 percent of the way as he was a sensitive, kind, caring young man."
If you've been affected by anything mentioned in this article, there is always someone to talk to. You can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 from any phone for a confidential chat.
