Back in my childhood, spending summers at my grandparents’ house was the highlight of my life because nobody spoiled me quite like they did. I consider myself pretty fortunate because honestly, their love was truly irreplaceable for me.
Today’s grandma is worried that she might not be able to shower her love on her grandchildren as she might be banned from their lives. She feels that her son and daughter-in-law have stringent parenting rules and it might be the end for her after she broke one of them and her son caught her in the act!
More info: Mumsnet
We often hear about conflicts between parents and grandparents when it comes to raising kids
The poster’s parenting style was different compared to her son and daughter-in-law’s style today
Image credits: TiredRetired
Her daughter-in-law has rigid rules when it comes to meal and nap times and the poster had gotten in trouble once for missing a mealtime
Image credits: TiredRetired
One day at their house, when her grandson came to her room at night as he was cold, she snuggled up with him on the couch to warm him up
Image credits: TiredRetired
When the son saw this, he took away the kid, and she got a lecture from her daughter-in-law, and the poster couldn’t help but retaliate to it, which angered her
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) narrates her concerns that she might be banned from her grandchildren’s lives and it really breaks her heart. She gives us a little background and mentions that she has given birth to 4 kids and her parenting style is very different compared to how her son and daughter-in-law do it.
She tells us how her daughter-in-law has rigid meal and nap times for her sons and how OP had in fact gotten in trouble once when she missed a kid’s meal time. Well, apart from the poster, even the other family members have rolled their eyes at these strict rules, but the poster has stood up for her daughter-in-law during such instances.
One day, when she visited their new house, her 3-year-old grandson came to her room in the middle of the night and his hands and feet were cold as ice. Well, she was aware of their no co-sleeping rule, so she took him down and snuggled up with him on the couch to keep him warm.
When her son caught her in the act, he was quite rude to her and took away the child. OP suspected she had done something wrong, and the next day, her daughter-in-law started giving her a lecture. The poster couldn’t stand the fact that she was being called out like a child and went on to defend herself about her being a different grandmother.
This did not go down well with the daughter-in-law as she got angry and even mentioned that she couldn’t see how the grandma could continue visiting this way. Uh-oh! That sounds like trouble, and the grandma mentioned how heartbroken she is by it all. Even after her apologies, she feels that something is broken and doesn’t know how to fix it, so she vented online.
Grandparents and parents fighting over how to raise children is an age-old conflict. In fact, even a survey based on 2,016 responses from parents of children ages 18 and under has proved that half of parents report butting heads with their child’s grandparents over parenting.
When the grandma posted her story online, the internet was divided. Although most folks sided with her, there were a few who felt that she was being over-involved with the couple’s parenting style. They felt that she was indirectly criticizing it and not trying to understand things from their perspective.
On the other hand, most of the folks who sided with her felt that the couple was very rigid with their parenting style and expressed their concern towards the kids as well. These people felt bad for the grandmother but also felt that this would have a negative impact on the couple’s children.
Research states that children who grow up with a rigid parenting style are often well-behaved at home, but they may rebel when with classmates or friends. The same research suggests that such kids may also struggle with social skills, indecisiveness, trouble thinking on their own, low self-esteem, poor judgment of character, anger management, resentfulness, hostility, or aggression.
Looks like netizens have a point for their concern about the couple’s kids. Some also shared similar experiences of parenting disagreements with their mothers-in-law, but they claimed that they could never deprive their kids of bonding with a grandparent. Others advised the poster to let her daughter-in-law calm down and then try to resolve things with her.
This sounds quite helpful and even we believe that the poster could resolve the issues with healthy communication. What would you do in her situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Many folks felt that the couple had extremely rigid rules and sided with the grandma, while some felt that she was wrong to break their rules
