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We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered
Fred Onyango

‘Glitter Lung’ started as a joke by The Onion but a 3-year-old’s case shows it’s not so funny

Most glitter is made up of crushed bronze, tin, copper, and sometimes zinc or stearin used as a binding agent. All these substances can be toxic if inhaled or ingested in large amounts. A 3-year-old girl in Argentina recently arrived at a hospital with “respiratory distress” caused by glitter inhalation.

This story captured global intrigue because, incidentally, it mirrors a satirical story by The Onion from nearly 20 years ago. The ongoing joke on the internet these days is that satire can’t even achieve absurdity anymore, because reality itself already “gifts” us comedians who give medical advice on podcasts and centibillionaires who are somehow behind on child support. The Onion itself recently pivoted by purchasing Alex Jones’ InfoWars because, deep down, even they know that it’s unwittingly the best satire on the internet right now.

In the original article, the publication joked that the art teacher community was suffering through an epidemic of “glitter lung.” The joke played off the idea that every job is ultimately difficult, and the publication created a fictional story to support that about adults exposed to craft materials having glitter destroy their internal organs.

Turns out the satirical publication wasn’t that far from the truth. The only real difference is that it’s not adults who are most at risk from passive glitter exposure, but young children. According to the New York Post, the family of the 3-year-old Argentinian girl said she had inhaled a large amount of glitter dust, which got into her eyes, and she also ingested some.

It’s a serious condition!

The girl started having severe abdominal pain, was vomiting repeatedly, and parts of her skin began turning blue. It was later revealed that she had subcutaneous emphysema — a rare condition where air becomes trapped under the skin. She also had a pneumothorax in her right lung, which occurs when air leaks between the lung and the chest wall.

There was also another case in 2024 involving a 4-year-old who tried to eat gold cake dust in the United States. Even though the product was labeled as “non-toxic,” the child developed acute metal pneumonitis and later chronic pulmonary disease.

The FDA subsequently issued a warning against using glitter and dust products to decorate cakes and other food items unless the products are specifically manufactured to be edible.

There have been several other cases, including one involving a child as young as 15 months old who ingested glitter and developed copper poisoning and subsequent health complications. As for the child from Argentina, she was eventually discharged, and doctors continued monitoring her for three months until there was enough evidence that her condition had stabilized.

Reportedly, some groups in America have already started pushing for tighter regulation of glitter products. The current idea is to discourage their use for children under the age of 14. Furthermore, some doctors are now pushing for restrictions that would prevent children under 14 from purchasing them altogether.

Perhaps we should start taking more articles from satirical sites seriously, since, at this rate, they’re all turning into prediction platforms anyway.

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