The wife of Pennsylvania Democratic Senator John Fetterman, Gisele Barreto Fetterman, has slammed “the tired trope of the ‘power hungry’ woman” in an op-ed for Elle.
“As soon as John’s political profile began to grow, I started receiving hate mail — ten times more than John ever got himself,” she wrote in the piece published on Thursday.
“I hadn’t sought an office of any kind, and I had never wanted to be in the public eye; in fact, that’s the last thing I’d want,” she added.
“I’ve always preferred serving others as a private citizen and have no interest in the politicking of policy,” she wrote.
Senator Fetterman suffered a stroke during his campaign last year and checked himself into Walter Reed Medical Center earlier this year to be treated for clinical depression.
He’s set to return to the senate on 17 April, according to The Hill.
Ms Fetterman said she was the target of “politically-motivated attacks” that has come like a “flood” into her life.
“I’ve been called a ‘mail-order bride,’ and some have even asked John: ‘Where did you buy her?’ They told me to go back to my country and criticized my immigration journey from Brazil, even after receiving my green card in 2004 and official U.S. citizenship in 2009,” she wrote in the op-ed.
“They have even criticized my appearance, often going after my eyebrows and hair,” she noted.
“They’re the same attacks leveled at Meghan Markle, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jill Biden — my apparent competitors for ‘worst wife in America,’” she said.
The remark was referring to a poll on Twitter posted last month by Matt Walsh, a conservative writer.
“They echo the dehumanizing bullying that women like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama have faced for decades,” Ms Fetterman argued.
“And they leave women shouldering a heavier side of the blame, no matter what we do,” she added.
“To hear my critics tell it, it’s my fault that John ran for Senate. It’s my fault that he won. It’s my fault that he had a stroke, and it’s my fault that he’s depressed. And somehow, at the same time, I’m just a wife who should stay at home and out of the public eye,” Ms Fetterman wrote in the magazine piece.
“On social media, people accused me of kidnapping the kids and running away to Canada. They promoted conspiracy theories claiming I was an ambitious, power hungry wife, secretly plotting to fill his Senate seat,” she said. “It was all so wildly preposterous.”
“I am not my husband’s career,” she said, adding that “a healthy, loving relationship is about supporting your partner’s dreams, not controlling them”.
Ms Fetterman said the constant attacks were “exhausting” and that she’s concerned for the “millions of women who hear these attacks on TV and social media and then internalize these myths in their own lives”.
“When we demand that women steel themselves in the face of unending attacks, we teach the next generation to normalize and accept harassment,” she said. “In the end, it only puts the blame on women once again; telling us to toughen up or ignore it reasserts the idea that we need to accept when we’re treated poorly, instead of questioning why society permits abusive behavior.”
“It makes us feel like we’re the problem for feeling pain when we’re held over a live fire,” she added.
She wrote that she has made the choice to “continue to live with love every day” and not to “fight fire with fire”.
