Gemma Collins has revealed that her fiancé Rami Hawash is 'traumatised' after walking in on her whilst she was self-harming.
Rami appears in Gemma's new Channel 4 documentary, Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me, where he has a very frank conversation with the reality TV star about the past.
At one point, Gemma attends a group therapy session where she explains to three other women about the moment Rami walked in on her.
"I hid it for a long time but one night my boyfriend caught me, he's now my fiancé, this was like 10 years ago. That hurt me more than anything," she told them.
"It wasn't so much probably what I did to myself, it was seeing how shocked and sad he was," Gemma added.
Moments later in the documentary, Rami recalls the moment he found Gemma self-harming as they chatted at home with one another.
"So I just walked in and I walk into the kitchen and you were standing there and you've got this tea towel around you and I'm looking on the floor and there's blood everywhere," he told Gemma.
"And I said, 'Gemma what's going on?' so I washed your hands and everything and you started crying and I was shocked.
"You were telling me for weeks, 'it's okay don't worry about this', and you were phoning me like 20 times saying: 'Are you okay?'
"It's crazy Gem, you have to think about the people who love you as well," Rami continued.
Looking really upset, Gemma then told him: "But it was never about you, it was never about any of that. It was to do with me, obviously I was going through something. It was like a coping mechanism for me. I do remember that night, I was under a lot of pressure at the time."
Rami replied: "It was very, very scary to see that and you know I love you very much and you know when you see someone you love doing that, it's not nice."
Speaking to her therapist moments later, Gemma said: "He was so traumatised by what I did, he said he's never forgotten it. He's been scared to be speak about it as well."
Gemma first met Rami 10 years ago when she was starring on The Only Way is Essex, but they split up.
The pair reunited about a year ago and are now engaged and planning to have a baby together.
For support on dealing with self-harm see mind.org.uk/selfharm or call Mind's confidential Infoline on 0300 123 3393.
For further help or advice, please visit: https://www.channel4.com/4viewers/help-support
Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me airs on Channel 4 and All 4 on Wednesday 16 February at 9pm.
