ARE you outraged? No? Then perhaps you’re disgusted? No? Well, maybe you’re offended? C’mon, you’ve got to be at least offended? No? Blimey, what’s wrong with you?
The reason I ask is that, according to the hyperbolic, hysterical world of social media, we’re all supposed to be outraged, disgusted and offended by something at least once every 52 minutes or so and if you’re not then it’s a bleedin’ outrage that will leave other folk disgusted and offended by your own inability to get outraged, disgusted and offended. I think you get the general idea.
A couple of weeks ago, there was widespread outrage, disgust, offence and all that caper about some paving slabs being plonked down next to the Swilcan Bridge. The other day, Tiger Woods just about plunged the entire internet into DEFCON 1 levels of pandemonium when he handed playing partner Justin Thomas a tampon as part of some blokey, jokey carry-on during the Genesis Invitational at Riviera.
What a time to be a golf writer, eh? Scribbling about a pile of stones was one thing for us scribes. But writing about sanitary products? Good grief. It was more awkward than the time I had to document the finer details of Colin Montgomerie’s pilates regime in an eye-watering piece that just about led to the same kind of sensitivity audit that’s currently being performed on Roald Dahl’s books.
Anyway, Tiger’s first tour outing since July’s Open Championship brought huge focus onto the Genesis event, which made his decision to perform his tampon lark all the
more befuddling. It was a dodgy judgement on a par with the decision-making process of a pheasant trying to cross a busy A-road. Amid the – yes, you’ve guessed it – outrage, disgust and offence, Tiger apologised and, like most things in this day and age, it blew by and we all moved swiftly along. Which is exactly what I’m going to do now.
Jon Rahm’s third win of the year, which propelled him back to the top of the world rankings, capped another cracker of an elevated event on the PGA Tour. The absorbing nature of the competition in recent weeks has just about made you forget all about the LIV Golf Series, which begins its 2023 campaign in Mexico this week.
One person this correspondent has certainly forgotten about is LIV Golf rebel Brooks Koepka, which is a shame really, given that he is a four-time major champion and former world No.1.
It’s hard to think that it’s 10 years now since the Scottish golf writers got their first glimpse of the American in the flesh at the Scottish Hydro Challenge on the second-tier European Challenge Tour in Aviemore. He was already on the kind of upward trajectory you’d get with a vessel of space exploration and he underlined his bountiful talents by winning at a canter then hot-footing it all the way down to Sunningdale and coming through a 36-hole qualifier for that year’s Open.
Everywhere you turned at Spey Valley during a sodden June week in 2013, there were players from across the board, whether they were fresh-faced recruits to the pro game or seasoned old hands who had played with some of the game’s best, dishing out praise in wild abundance. “You’ll have to see this boy,” they drooled as if they’d just watched the lad who invented sliced bread doing a demonstration on how to make a sandwich. Here in 2023, Koepka has slithered into a competitive no man’s land.
Physical frustrations were already hindering Koepka long before LIV fluttered its money-sodden eyelashes in his direction and wooed him with guaranteed riches.
For a 32-year-old who landed those four major titles between 2017 and 2019, there must now be a huge sense of professional frustration, too. When the PGA Tour was flexing its muscles at a jam-packed Phoenix Open the other week, Koepka was missing the cut in an Asian Tour event in Oman.
Not so long ago, Koepka, with biceps the size of something in Monument Valley, an ego just as big, and a vast acreage of gleaming-tooth enamel, was the all-American superstar. Now, the world No.85 has become a fading star.
While the likes of Rahm, Rory McIlroy and Scottie Scheffler trade blows and parry and joust for the world No.1 perch, Koepka and others are on the outside looking in. The PGA Tour, with its bunch of $20m elevated events, has been galvanised. The presence of Tiger Woods in LA – crass tampon gag aside – thrust its latest showpiece into a vast spotlight. To the likes of Koepka, Dustin Johnson, Cameron Smith or any of the other big-name LIV defectors, the message from the PGA Tour was clear. We’re getting on fine without you.
It seems the drain of talent to LIV has been tempered by this mighty investment of resources. During the close season, LIV’s transfer dealings, for want of a better phrase, led to them capturing Thomas Pieters, Mito Pereira, Sebastian Munoz and Dean Burmester. They are all fine campaigners but they are certainly not the blockbuster names that are going to generate great waves of interest. Koepka was certainly a blockbuster name when he jumped on board the LIV gravy train last year. Now, though, he’s something of a forgotten man.
