Look, it’s July and we are, at least at face value, a sports-based journalism outlet. The two major sports currently on the schedule just came off their All-Star breaks. There isn’t a lot going on aside from covering NBA rookies at the recently concluded summer league and trying to figure out what football season is going to look like.
As such, cabin fever has set in. The kind that has you building enemies lists over food takes shared in the group chat. The kind that inspires a triple-digit-celled spreadsheet in order to figure out the perfect dipping sauce.
Thus, on July 19, 2023, the For The Win staff decided it was time to end the sauce debate once and for all. Born to a discussion about cupcake icing and nursed to full health by entirely too many ALL CAPS replies and veiled threats (almost all by me. You got a problem with Zaxby’s then you’ve got a problem with me, friend), we took to the ballots and determine what, exactly, is the ideal companion to a perfectly fried chicken tender.
This is what we came up with.
11
Yellow mustard
No. 1 votes: 1 (good god, man)
Are there better “quality” condiments? Probably. Is there a better taste for chicken than that rich, sugary and extremely processed yellow paste? Absolutely not. Mustard to chicken is akin to peanut butter to jelly. — Robert Zeglinski
10
Spicy mustard
No. 1 votes: 0
Mustard on its own is good. Hot things to dip chicken in is also good. Those two together are AMAZING. — Charles Curtis
9
Teriyaki
No. 1 votes: 0
An underrated sauce, perhaps because there’s a significant variance from kitchen to kitchen. At its best, it’s a blast of salty, sweet and spicy in balanced form. — Christian D’Andrea
8
Bleu cheese
No. 1 votes: 0
The Pippen to buffalo sauce’s Jordan — and like Scotty, it stands up perfectly well on its own. — Christian D’Andrea
7
Sweet and sour
No. 1 votes: 0
A nice, tangy change of pace from the heavier, thicker sauces on this list. Nobody quite loves it, but no one’s gonna outright turn it down, either. — Christian D’Andrea
6
Ranch
No. 1 votes: 1
Ranch: There is no better or more universal condiment. It’s perfect. — Michelle Martinelli
5
Ketchup
No. 1 votes: 1
I work with a lot of toddlers. That’s the only explanation I can muster. — Christian D’Andrea
4
Chick-fil-a
No. 1 votes: 0
Milkshake thick and combining the best worlds of barbeque and honey mustard. All it does is save me a step but I’m glad it exists. — Christian D’Andrea
3
Honey mustard
No. 1 votes: 2
The top spot came down to BBQ and honey mustard for me, and I went with the latter because it’s less hit or miss on the sweetness I crave with my chicken tenders. It’s also not overwhelmingly sweet like ketchup. — Prince Grimes
2
Barbeque
No. 1 votes: 2
BBQ sauce is quite versatile thanks to a wide-ranging definition of what actually qualifies here. You want to go super vinegary? Go right ahead. Want to feel like you’re dipping into a vat of tar, there’s a version of BBQ sauce for that, too. But the real key here is how you can manipulate the flavor while keeping the core components intact. My baseline go-to is Sweet Baby Ray’s, but there is truly no limit to what a good BBQ sauce can look or taste like, making it a superior dipping option. — Blake Schuster
1
Buffalo
No. 1 votes: 3
Buffalo — It’s the perfect combination of tanginess and heat. And most importantly: It doesn’t contain tomatoes. Tomatoes are the worst. — Andrew Joseph
