Any chance of a second opinion? Afraid not: it’s terminal. At 2pm on Thursday 14 November, BBC medical soap Doctors airs its last ever episode.
After 24 years of aches, pains and plot twists, Mill Health Centre in the invented West Midlands town of Letherbridge will close its surgery doors for the last time. At least fans – it averages 1.6 million viewers a day – can console themselves with Doctors: A Celebration, which airs directly afterwards.
To mark its demise, we’ve selected the best TV soap operas we’ve loved and lost. Our ground rules for inclusion are that there were two or more episodes a week (hence Holby City and Howards’ Way don’t qualify) and had a domestic setting (ruling out The Bill and other workplace procedurals).
From daytime fillers to primetime flops, here is our rundown of dearly departed soaps, ranked from worst to best …
20. Eldorado (1992-1993)
One of the most mocked flops in BBC history. In an attempt to repeat the success of EastEnders, the BBC launched another soap starting with E, this one set in an expat community on the Costa del Sol (its working title was Little England). Cue a £10m shambles. Scenes in Spanish baffled viewers. Acting was wooden. Location shooting in villas made dialogue echoey and inaudible. Don’t even get us started on middle-aged Bunny and his 17-year-old bride Fizz. BBC One boss Alan Yentob axed it within two weeks of taking over.
19. The Young Doctors (1976-1983)
At my signal, unleash aspirin! Russell Crowe made his acting debut in this medical saga about the lives and loves of staff at Sydney’s Albert memorial hospital. It became an ITV afternoon staple, meaning a generation watched it while sick and off school. It was ultimately canned to make room for cricket in the Channel Nine schedules. The Young Doctors holds the unwelcome distinction, rare among long-running Aussie shows, of never winning a single award. Testament to its quality.
18. Sunset Beach (1997-1999)
Masterminded by soap supremo Aaron Spelling, this California melodrama was shallow, shiny and shameless. Sunset Beach peddled outrageous plotlines (hot tub fights! Evil twins! Secret turkey-baster impregnation!) and featured knowing celebrity cameos from the likes of Jerry Springer. When it won a cult following on Channel 5, it became the only US daytime soap to become a hit in the UK.
17. Triangle (1981-1983)
What could be more glamorous than a soap set on a North Sea ferry? Sailing from Felixstowe to Gothenburg, Amsterdam and back, it was supposed to be a British take on The Love Boat. Unfortunately, grey skies made it look depressingly gloomy and the crew all got seasick. Larry Lamb was the hunky chief engineer; Kate O’Mara the resident minx – memorably sunbathing topless on what was clearly a freezing cold deck. Terry Wogan had a hoot mocking it on his Radio 2 breakfast show. Anchors away.
16. Take the High Road (1980-2003)
The late queen mother was a fan of this kilt-clad soap about the fictional village of Glendarroch. It was set around a picturesque estate on the bonnie banks of Loch Lomond, with lairds, livestock, purple heather and a fiddly, folky theme tune. Most ITV regions dropped it in the mid-90s when its title was shortened to High Road but it retained a loyal fanbase in Scotland and Northern Ireland until it took the low road to the TV afterlife.
15. Angels (1975-1983)
Part of a long line of medical soaps – Dr Finlay’s Casebook, A Country Practice, Emergency Ward 10 and General Hospital almost made our cut – this female-led mould-breaker was dubbed “the Z-Cars of nursing” and followed student nurses at the fictional Saint Angela’s in Battersea, later relocating to Birmingham’s Heath Green hospital. Its gritty authenticity was thanks to the cast working on real NHS wards to get hands-on experience. Producer Julia Smith and script editor Tony Holland later reunited to create EastEnders.
14. Sons and Daughters (1982-1987)
It’s hard to believe now but, at its peak, this Dallas-inspired spin on Romeo and Juliet notched up six million viewers on daytime ITV. It followed the romantically tangled lives of two Australian families – the wealthy Hamiltons from Sydney and the working-class Palmers from Melbourne. Its arch villain was scheming matriarch Patricia “Pat the Rat” Hamilton; when leading lady Rowena Wallace decided to quit, they simply had her character fly to Rio for extensive cosmetic surgery and return as a different actor.
13. Albion Market (1985-1986)
Pitched as a northern version of EastEnders, which launched on the BBC six months earlier, ITV’s effort was set in a covered market in Salford – and proved about as thrilling as that sounds. Storylines were hard-hitting but action became mired in the day-to-day tedium of stallholders. The cast included Anthony Booth, father-in-law of the future prime minister, Tony Blair, as the pub landlord. It was axed after exactly 100 episodes.
12. Melrose Place (1992-1999)
An early hit for the king of high-end trash, Darren Star (of Sex and the City and Emily in Paris pedigree), this Fox soap about hot young things living in the titular West Hollywood apartment complex was enjoyably over the top. It was populated by fashion designers, heart surgeons, ad execs and aerobics instructors, with Heather Locklear having a ball as a Joan Collins-style superbitch. Part of the Beverly Hills 90210 franchise, it spawned its own spin-off: the even more telegenic Models Inc.
11. Park Avenue (1988-1992)
Do you remember? Park Avenue - Britain's first and only daily teletext soap opera. From December 1st 1988 to December 31st 1992, part of the Oracle teletext service. pic.twitter.com/R0f8yzPoCN
— Park Avenue Archives (@ParkAvenueArk) December 1, 2018
The world’s first and only teletext soap ran on ITV’s service Oracle. Six to 10 pages of text would appear daily at 4pm. Each episode began with a “Story so far” catchup, before launching into a heady brew of sex and scandal in the fictional town of Parkfield. It riffed on topical events, and fans could vote on outcomes to storylines. Despite the niche format, it ran for 1,500 episodes, coming to an end when Oracle shut down.
10. Night and Day (2001-2003)
Comparisons to Twin Peaks and a Kylie theme song? No wonder this stylish 00s mystery soap became cult viewing among teens. When a girl from Greenwich disappears on her 16th birthday, the lives of the families on her street become darkly intertwined. Buffy-influenced experimentation with frozen time, flash forwards, memories and ghosts made this refreshingly edgy fare. Familiar faces in the cast included Clarke Peters, Shane Richie, Lesley Joseph, Glynis Barber and Bradley Walsh.
9. Families (1990-1993)
An attempt to mix the sunny escapism of Australian soaps with homegrown familiarity, this Granada crossover followed two clans – one in Cheshire, one in Sydney – connected by an adulterous jetset businessman. Created by the late, great Kay Mellor, gritty storylines covered such topics as murder, incest, drugs and sex work. The talent wasn’t too shabby either: Russell T Davies was one of the writers, while a teenage Jude Law starred for two years.
8. Falcon Crest (1981-1990)
The so-bad-it’s-good-CBS supersoap was basically “Dallas with grapes”. It revolved around feuding family factions in California’s fictitious Tuscany Valley. As tyrannical wine-making matriarch Angela Channing (Oscar-winner Jane Wyman) presided over her vineyard empire, the fine vintages were washed down with vats of backstabbing, bed-hopping and a seemingly endless supply of children born out of wedlock. Cheers!
7. Family Affairs (1997-2005)
Former Channel 5 director of programmes Kevin Lygo damned this soap with faint praise, saying: “If you forced yourself to watch it, you’d be surprised. It’s not as bad as you think.” Kicking off the channel’s launch night lineup, Family Affairs hit headlines for featuring a flash of naked bum. It shared west London locations with police stalwart The Bill, while a young Idris Elba was a regular at riverside bar The Lock. It had a higher density of LGBTQ+ characters than any other British soap, was praised for its diverse cast and won awards for an NSPCC-backed paedophilia storyline.
6. Peyton Place (1964-1969)
Widely acknowledged as the first primetime US soap, this landmark ABC series aired in black-and-white for the first half of its five-year run before switching to new-fangled colour. Inspired by Coronation Street, it was set in a seemingly idyllic New England town – which, naturally, was a hotbed of love, lust, dark secrets and simmering tensions. The starry cast included Mia Farrow, Gena Rowlands, Leslie Nielsen and Ryan O’Neal. Producer Paul Monash refused to admit it was a soap, calling it a “high-class anthology drama”. So a soap, then?
5. Revelations (1994-1996)
“When the Church of England started ordaining women, I thought ‘Yes! We can do a lesbian vicar!’” Co-created by Russell T Davies, this raunchy late-night romp was a trailblazing treat. As the title implies, it was religious-themed but in a camply iconoclastic way, focusing on the family of a priest (Paul Shelley) and his wife (Judy Loe, mother of Kate Beckinsale). That female vicar was the first openly gay character written by Davies, who went on to create Queer As Folk and It’s a Sin.
4. Dynasty (1981-1989)
Alongside Dallas, the epitome of shoulder-padded primetime 80s excess. Aaron Spelling’s addictively camp classic chronicled the gilded existences and epic feuds of a super-rich Denver family, headed by oil tycoon Blake Carrington (John Forsythe), who “lived and sinned” in a 48-room mansion. It was most memorable for the bitter rivalry between Blake’s ex-wife, Alexis (a never better Joan Collins), and his secretary turned current spouse, Krystle (Linda Evans). A catfight in a koi pond, a plane crash, a wedding massacre and an evil Krystle doppelganger were some of its wildest moments.
3. Crossroads (1964-1988, 2001-2003)
It’s best known nowadays as the wobbly setted West Midlands saga parodied in Victoria Wood’s Acorn Antiques – but at its height Crossroads was huge, pulling in a peak of 15 million viewers. It centred on the fictional Crossroads motel, run by Meg Richardson (Noele Gordon, whose unceremonious sacking was recently the subject of its own drama, Nolly). Kitschy, creaky and melodramatic, it was like a Brummie telenovela. Benny Hawkins, Amy Turtle, Shughie McFee, Adam Chance … the characters’ names alone are enough to prompt a nostalgia rush for those of a certain age.
2. Dallas (1978-1991)
Sue Ellen’s trembling lips! Bobby in the shower! Set on the sprawling Southfork ranch and in the offices of the family company, Ewing Oil, the CBS smash followed the power struggles and torrid private lives of Stetson-wearing, bourbon-guzzling Texas tycoons with names like Digger, Dusty and Punk. At the centre of the action sat malevolent magnate JR Ewing (Larry Hagman), a Shakespearean baddie for the TV age. The “Who shot JR?” cliffhanger became a global obsession, as did the bonkers plot twist when the entire previous season was all a dream.
1. Brookside (1982-2003)
The all-time best soap that is no more. The much-missed Merseyside saga was created by Grange Hill’s Phil Redmond and was similarly socially aware. Beginning on Channel 4’s launch night, “Brookie” ran for two decades, but its heyday was the late 80s and early 90s, when eight million viewers made it the station’s top-rated show. It made history by airing the first ever pre-watershed lesbian kiss, between Anna Friel and Nicola Stephenson. Sue Johnston and Ricky Tomlinson played a married couple long before The Royle Family. Landmark storylines included an armed siege, a body under the patio and sibling incest. The final episode saw villainous drug dealer Jack Michaelson – a play on the name of Channel 4 boss Michael Jackson, who axed the show – being murdered by residents.
