Interest in Mormons and their religion has reached its peak with the scandalous The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives hitting our small screens. There’s also been plenty of Mormon drama on TikTok, from trad wives to the #MomTok scandal that inspired the series spilling over into mainstream media.
While there’s a lot to say about the (possibly feminist) ways Mormon women are rebelling against the faith in the Disney+ series, it’s left many of us curious about some of the ambiguous rules of Mormonism referred to throughout the series and in the comments sections of TikTok trad wife accounts.
The “rules” of Mormonism can be hard to unpick because, as in every faith, adherence ranges from absolute fundamentalism to the less engaged soft swingers we see in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
Some of the confusion around Mormon rules stems from the fact that, like many religious texts, The Book of Mormon was published in 1830. This 1830 manuscript didn’t cover many modern phenomena, from “soft swinging” to soda. This means that amidst the rules, Mormons engage in some unusual workarounds that TikTok can’t get enough of and still hold some practices, like undergarments, dear.
With interest in everything Mormon on the rise, we unpacked some of the terms we’ve encountered so far.
7 Mormon TikTok Viral Terms and Practices Explained
What Is Soft Swinging?
Soft swinging is a new but extremely viral term seemingly coined by the queen of MomTok and face of the Mormon Wives gang, Taylor Frankie Paul. In essence, it refers to an agreement within a marriage that one-half of the couple can perform everything short of full sex as long as the other party is present. It is very much not common or condoned practice in the Mormon faith.
What’s Soaking?
Of the three top tenets of Mormonis, “chastity” falls just after “the spilling of innocent blood” and “denying of the Holy Ghost”. For the Mormon Church, as in many faiths, sex outside of marriage is frowned upon, meaning compliant Mormon youngsters will have their first sexual encounters on their wedding night.
Human nature is human nature, though, and teens on Mormon college campuses are finding plenty of them. “Soaking” is a sexual practice with 243.3 million mentions on TikTok, presumably because it slots neatly between the categories of bizarre and titillating. According to Mormon-Tok, ‘soaking’ is penetrative sex without the movement of hip thrusting. Essentially, a man inserts his penis into a vagina and… lies there doing as little as possible. This is a workaround practised by some Mormon youngsters who want to engage in premarital sex without attracting the ire of God.
What Is Jump Humping (Or Mormon Threesomes)
Of course, the nature of human biology means that soaking is both awkward and not particularly pleasurable. There’s another workaround for that, though, as long as you have some (very) good friends. Jump humping is a practice by which Mormon youngsters enlist their besties to jump up and down on a mattress while they soak. The jumping results in passive movement so the couple can get a taste of the “real thing” without offending the Church (this awkward version of group sex may cause them to rush to the alter faster, though).
What Is NCMOS?
“NCMOS Mormons” and “NCMOS Mormons explained” have been mentioned a collective 112 million times on TikTok. NCMOS is a term used in college Mormon hookup culture and refers to a non-commital make-out – essentially hookups for college kids not wanting to go all the way (think of it as teeny-bopper soft swinging). As described as teenagers on TikTok, the nature of NCMOS, and sometimes the objective is to make out with as many people as possible in a night, which feels distinctly un-Mormon, but that kids for you.
Why Can Mormons Drink Caffeinated Soda But Not Coffee?
The Church of Jesus Christ of The Latter-Day Saints doesn’t take it upon itself to address every obscure violation of the Mormon rule book. It’s confusing to many that while coffee is prohibited, Mormons seem to drink a lot of soda. Hunting down r/mormon, several people have asked this question. Redditor ImTheMarmotKing replies: “Coffee is prohibited, not caffeine”. They explain that the dietary rules of Mormonism were outlined in the 19th century and that coffee fell within a prohibition against “hot drinks.”
However, The Church of Jesus Christ Of The Latter Day Saints website has published a post warning against caffeine consumption in all its forms. The article points to several studies linking caffeine to coronary heart disease and warning against children consuming it. However, in the Priesthood Bulletin of February 1972, a statement was issued: “With reference to cola drinks, the Church has never officially taken a position on this matter, but the leaders of the Church have advised, and we do now specifically advise, against the use of any drink containing harmful habit-forming drugs.”
What Is ‘Dirty Soda’?
If you’ve spent any time on Mormon-Tok, you’ll see plenty of Stanley Cups and endless references to Dirty Soda. Dirty Soda is particularly prevalent in Utah, where “dirty sodas” replaced the fun-and-games coffees (Mormonism prohibits hot drinks), frappucinos and cocktails. In their most basic form, they combine any soda with some kind of dairy (kind of like a Spider). Dirty sodas have become so popular that they’ve moved from homemade concoctions to to a booming business model in the Mormon-heavy state of Utah. The dirty soda chain Swig opened its 50th store in the US in 2023, and Sodalicious remains popular with Utahans spending time at soda stations the way many would spend time at coffee shops and bars. Indeed, Olivia Rodrigo has even been spotted at a Swig.
What Are Mormon Garments?
@alyssadgrenfell A claustrophobic reminder of the most secretive parts of Mormonism #mormon #lds #exmormon #ldstemple #utahcheck #exmo ♬ original sound – Alyssa Grenfell
Mormon garments, or “temple garments” have drawn particular interest on TikTok. You won’t catch them on series like The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because they are issued when a Mormon couple is “sealed” in the Mormon church, a ceremony that can be different from a simple marriage.
It’s sacred and secret underwear used as a shield against, according to Alyssa Grenfell, an ex-Mormon on TikToker, Satan’s temptations. The underwear, which Grenfell describes as “uncomfortable” and inferred leaves a nightmarish visible panty line, must always be worn unless you’re showering and swimming. As Grenfell points out, the magic underwear is a reminder of the promises you made in the Mormon Temple, particularly that of “the law of consecration”, which means everything you possess belongs to the Mormon Church.
This article originally appeared on Marie Claire Australia and is republished here with permission.
