During his time in the top job, Morrison gave a nod to God in 120 broadcast media appearances, doorstop interviews, press conferences and ministerial statements. According to the online bible of PM transcripts, Morrison did spare “Satan” from the public purview. Luciferian references appear reserved for Morrison’s appearances at Pentecostal gatherings, including the finer details of “Satan’s plan” that he revealed at Margaret Court’s Victory Life Centre last weekend.
But other members of the Coalition have been less sanguine. Trawling through government documents during Morrison’s tenure, Satan does have his moments in the sun.
On matters of the economy, then Liberal MP Jason Falinski simply could not help himself: “Lucifer himself could not create the temptation that the member for Rankin creates every time he stands up and lectures this House about economic management!” Then opposition finance minister Jim Chalmers had the gall to criticise the Coalition on matters of money. Falinksi said to hell with him.
Then there was former senator Mitch Fifield, who appealed to Satan to “get thee behind me” after singing a line from the Cold Chisel tribute song “Ita”.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Satan surfaced in discussions around the Coalition’s contentious religious discrimination bill. When pressed as to why a faith-based school would employ someone “actively campaigning for the devil”, Chris Watts from the Independent Education Union of Australia concluded that “it would seem to be a pretty odd choice” to employ Satan. There were no arguments from the chair of the Legal and Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee, former senator Ian Macdonald: “I think we’re in rabid agreement on that.”
QAnon supporters continued to try Satan on for size, up to and including the 2022 election campaign. Leading the sin-searchers was Morrison’s close family friend Tim Stewart (Twitter alias: Burn Notice @burnedspy34). Stewart’s and QAnon’s fixation with Satan recalls an earlier decade when Satanic ritual abuse allegations were all the rage, invariably involving adults dancing in hoods while (allegedly) subjecting children to satanic rituals. The conspiracy community clapped their hands when Morrison made reference to “ritual” sex abuse in one of his first speeches as prime minister in 2018. It was a national apology to victims of child sexual abuse, but for Morrison it doubled as a rite of passage.
The QAnon narrative goes that governments around the world are part of a “cabal of Satan-worshipping paedophiles”. Retrofitted to Australian politics, the conspiracy theory has state and federal politicians moonlighting as child traffickers in Melbourne and Sydney. Throughout the election, fringe minor parties made repeated references to the “tyrannical” agendas of the elite and the need for government to be purged. Morrison’s latest performance as a fill-in pastor should go some way to assuage anxieties about excising the satanically-minded in government.
Let’s end with a verse from an old testament. In 2000, then prime minister John Howard had the good grace to take a call on Townsville radio from someone who identified as “Satan the Devil”. It clearly made an impression. In 2004, Howard professed on air that “I’m the great Satan of Australian politics” (albeit “in the eyes of a section of the Australian public”). When Morrison landed in office, he took a real (fig)leaf out of Howard’s playbook. God had a plan for him (or so he — not He — said), but Scott was always better suited to the satanic side of the fence.
