I expect certain things from a Gwyneth Paltrow interview. Breathless outfit details. Her cooking something unexpectedly indulgent for the interviewer, or appearing more laid-back than her image suggests. Spacey pronouncements. What I don’t expect to read is: “I need to optimize EBITDA” (that’s earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortisation, for the non-business-speaking people) or “impacting my P&L” (profit and loss). These quotes come from Paltrow’s recent Vanity Fair profile, in which she also referred to recent layoffs from her wellness empire, Goop, as a “reorg” and described its sexual wellness clients as: “Not the best customers from an LTV perspective,” which I learn means “lifetime value” – having bought the notorious vagina egg for a laugh, they don’t come back for cashmere and casserole dishes.
Tempting as it is to linger in the Goop-verse – so fragrant, so self-actualised – I’m mostly interested in Paltrow’s uninhibited adoption of biz-speak. It was unexpected in a glossy feature with her looking a billion dollars, accessorised with two equally fabulous borzois. Normally, if I wanted to hear someone talk about EBITDA, I’d turn off my noise-cancelling headphones and eavesdrop on my husband’s work calls. But Paltrow has always had a shrewd eye for the zeitgeist, so I’m wondering: does this herald the second coming of the out-and-proud girlboss?
