Since Barbie’s trailer first laid down the groundwork for the ultimate dilemma earlier this year – stilettos or Birkenstocks – there has been heaps of speculation around the possible LGBTQ+ themes that could emerge in Greta Gerwig’s hot pink blockbuster.
Could we look forward to Ken trotting off into the gaudy sunset on horseback, arm in arm with another Ken? Was Barbie on the verge of arriving at an important personal realisation during ‘girls night’ in the Dreamhouse?
Look, if you’re heading into the cinema hoping to find Mattel’s answer to Tipping The Velvet, you will likely feel disappointed by Barbie’s fairly light smattering of queer subtext, but the morsels are there nonetheless. Here are some of the film’s queerest moments, excluding Ryan Gosling’s cowboy outfit, of course.
The Birkenstocks dilemma
The moment that initially set gaydars racing was when the footwear appeared in the Barbie trailer. It was the first inkling that Gerwig’s take on a classic toy would delve into a bit of queer theory along the way. If anything, it perhaps set expectations a little too high. Would Barbie abandon her Dreamhouse to go and live out her idyllic dreams on a commune in Lesbos? Would she enlist for a Fine Art degree at Goldsmiths, and weave a sculpture of K.D. Lang out of a repurposed flannel for her final project? As it turns out, it’s a resounding no to both of these delightful scenarios, and instead, we’re only really treated to mere morsels here and there.
In the much-memed clip, Barbie has been whisked away to visit Weird Barbie after suffering from flat feet, cellulite, and frequent thoughts of death. Played by Kate McKinnon, Weird Barbie is a peculiar misfit with an undercut (DING!) who lives alone on a hill with a friendly labrador as her only company (DING!) and listens to Indigo Girls on full blast (double-DING, and more on that last one in a moment). In order to cure Barbie from her existential dread, she offers her a simple choice: would she like to stick with her high heels, or venture forth into the real world wearing a pair of Birkenstocks to “know the truth about the universe”.
Birkenstocks have gone through a bit of a Renaissance in recent years; every other person in Hackney in ownership of an anxious sighthound also seems to possess a trusty pair of the brand’s boston clogs. Previously, though, Birkies were firmly known as the lesbian sandal, and that stereotype is knowingly played upon here, too. Hey, who can blame the rest of the world for following in our exceedingly comfortable footsteps?
This sapphic needledrop
Closer to Fine isn’t just a stone-cold banger; it may as well be the unofficial National Anthem of the lesbian community. The Indigo Girls’ place is so firmly embroidered into the culture, in fact, that the duo soundtrack a scene of the terrible/iconic Noughties drama The L Word. Closer to Fine is the song that the gang belt out in the car as they all roadtrip to Dinah Shore; an infamously queer Palm Springs party that coincides with a major women’s golfing tournament, but has very little to do with golf.
Lyrically, Closer to Fine feels like a neat fit for many of the weightier concepts and themes Greta Gerwig is tackling in Barbie; it’s a song about facing down looming existential questions and trying to accept that there are no clean-cut answers. But there’s also a queer narrative running through the song, which rejects black and white definitions and positions itself firmly in the inbetween. It’s notable that the song first plays when Barbie is carted off to the witches’ tower of Weird Barbie (as noted above, played by celesbian Kate McKinnon, also coded here as a queer character) as she’s “malfunctioning”. The song then reoccurs on several other occasions, often blasting out of Barbie’s car stereo as she flees Barbieland. Given Gerwig’s attention to detail, it seems next to impossible that this lesbian anthem’s prominent inclusion is a coincidence.
The nude blobs
Barbie’s abundance of genital-centric jokes feels like a highly impressive feat given that most of these characters have disturbingly smooth plastic crotches. Alongside gynaecology quips, Mattel’s phallic headquarters complete with gender-neutral loos, and Ken yelling “I DON’T HAVE A PENIS” at the aghast inhabitants of Venice Beach, the inhabitants of Gerwig’s Barbieland are strangely obsessed with gender essentialism; the idea that gender is determind by biology.
Here, it seems to serve as a satirical device; which you have to admit, is pretty queer. “I’d like to see what kind of nude blob he’s packing underneath those jeans,” husks Weird Barbie, at one point, of Ryan Gosling’s Ken. It’s almost as if sex and gender could well be complicated social constructs that still exist, even when you take away biology and impose them on a bunch of plastic dolls!
The subtle sex jokes
If Gerwig had really wanted to commit to a strong queer subtext, the obvious punchlines about bashing Barbies together in a raunchy fashion were right there waiting to be deployed! Instead, we’re left with McKinnon’s Weird Barbie constantly doing the splits in a way that feels mildly suggestive, while making occasional quips about how she’s ended up this way after her owner ”played with her too hard”. Come on Gerwig you coward, go hard or go home!
An angry showdown between two Kens, which sees them shaking their fists and threatening to beach each other off (“you don’t even know how to beach yourself off!”) is much less subtle, bordering on pantomime, and therefore a vast improvement.
Escaping from Mattel through a literal closet
Honestly, this one feels so on the nose that I almost spat out my special Barbie© branded popcorn during the press screening – while she’s on the run from a hapless flock of suits intent on putting her back in a box, Barbie briefly stops to befriend a sweet old woman who inexplicably has her own kitchen hidden deep within the dystopian bowels of Mattel’s offices. As the company executives’ footsteps patter ever closer, Bab’s new mystery mate (whose identity is revealed towards the end of the film) breezily informs her that she can escape via a conveniently placed closet which will eject her right back into the real world again. Honestly.
