Some people say that friends are the family you choose, but no one really talks about how tough things get when life hits hard. Strong friendships can survive anything. But grief? That’s a different beast that can shake up even the closest bonds. One minute you’re swapping memes and planning brunch and the next, it’s radio silence. When life gets messy, even the best of friends can struggle to stick together.
That’s the tough spot one woman found herself in, heartbroken over what seemed like the end of a friendship she thought was unbreakable, after her best friend’s miscarriage.
More info: Mumsnet
Grief can make people do unpredictable things, especially when it involves losing a baby
One mom-to-be learned this the hard way when her lifelong best friend suddenly cut all contact with her after having a miscarriage
The two best friends got pregnant at the same time, which should have been a very exciting thing, but unfortunately one woman lost her baby early in the pregnancy
The woman had her baby on what was supposed to be her friend’s due date and, after saying “congratulations,” the friend stopped replying to any calls and texts
Image credits: Silvercat12
The new mom is heartbroken, thinking she has lost her lifelong friend forever, asking for advice online
You know those friendships that have been through hell and back but came out on the other side shining? Well, that was our OP’s (original poster) bond with her best friend. But things got complicated for this duo when the two besties got pregnant at the same time. Double the excitement, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, the OP’s friend suffered a miscarriage just before her 12-week scan.
Like any ride-or-die friend, the OP did what she could – she offered support and kept her pregnancy on the down-low. She didn’t want to rub salt in the wound. I can understand why she kept things quiet.
If it were me, I would’ve probably done the same thing. But, man, sometimes no matter what you do, it just isn’t enough. One ghosted text turned into another and, before she knew it, the OP and her best friend were slowly drifting apart.
After her miscarriage, the OP’s friend asked for some space. No ultrasound pics, no baby updates and no bump selfies. Basically, no reminders that she was missing out. Fair enough.
But when your bestie stops replying altogether, starts canceling every plan and even unfollows you on Instagram? It starts feeling like you’re losing her faster than you can say “baby shower.” I don’t know about you, but I think I’d start freaking out at this point. I mean, a social media ban is the number 1 “I don’t want anything to do with you” sign.
Experts say grief, especially after something as heartbreaking as a miscarriage, can make being around pregnant friends very difficult. I get it. It’s not easy to be around something that reminds you of what you’ve lost, and you probably just want to shut everything out just to avoid the pain.
It’s common for women to feel intense grief, isolation and even jealousy when seeing a pregnant friend continue with her motherhood journey. This might explain why some friendships struggle after such tragedy, just like the OP and her best friend are.
“You may find it difficult to be around families with healthy infants for a while. Even after you think you’ve moved on, grief can return without warning. The baby’s due date or Mother’s Day can bring back old feelings of sorrow and longing,” experts explain.
We can understand now why the friend pulled away after the OP had her baby exactly on what was supposed to be her friend’s due date. Now that’s a weird coincidence right there.
So, what’s a gal to do when her bestie has basically vanished? Even after 4 months after the baby arrived, the silence is deafening. The OP is left heartbroken. She’s wondering if their lifelong friendship is officially over.
Psychologists explain that miscarriage grief doesn’t just vanish overnight. In fact, it can linger for a long time and sometimes, people need way more time to heal than we expect. Many women who experience miscarriage might feel emotionally numb or avoid anything baby-related for months, sometimes even years. It’s not about shutting out their friends; it’s about protecting themselves from future pain.
Sounds rough, right? It is, for sure. But the best thing our OP can do is pretty much what she’s already doing – giving her friend the space to heal while keeping the door open for when she’s ready. It’s probably easier said than done, right?
It’s tough to tell if this lifelong friendship can really bounce back. I’m honestly torn. I’d want to believe a friendship this strong can survive, but part of me would wonder if it’s ever going to be the same again. But, if these two got through all that high school drama, maybe there’s still a chance for them to patch things up.
What do you think of this story? Do you think this friendship can survive, or should the OP prepare to move on? Let us know in the comment section.
Netizens say the woman is doing pretty much all she can do, giving her friend space, as she probably can’t deal with the intense grief
