According to legend, in the old days, if a ruler wanted to ruin a courtier who had fallen out of favor, they were given some outwardly very honorable and prestigious gift, but incredibly expensive in content, and which was impossible to get rid of – because it was a gift from the monarch. Centuries and centuries have passed since then, but stories with awkward gifts still appear.
For example, this one in the AITA Reddit community, from a young woman to whom the older brother of her roommate and best friend gave an expensive, but rather ambiguous gift – and thereby provoked some real drama. As always, you can read all the details below.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a 19-year-old woman living together with her bosom friend
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
The friend has an elder brother who used to babysit them both sometimes when they were kids
Image credits: throwaway_42353
Recently the author had her birthday and the guy bought her some expensive lingerie
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway_42353
However, the woman considered it pretty weird and threw it in the trash, not even trying to wear it
Image credits: Gabriel Dias (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway_42353
The friend, however, let it slip to her brother and the guy got mad at the author, saying it seems like she sees him as a perv
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 19-year-old woman living with her one year older friend. This friend has a 26-year-old older brother, whom the author has known since her childhood – when he babysat them from time to time or drove them places. But years have passed – yesterday’s kids have grown up, and relationships have changed.
About a month ago, it was the OP’s birthday, and among the gifts she received from her friends was some very expensive lingerie from this friend’s brother. Well, the girl thought this gift was quite weird, per se, and first put it in her drawer, but after some time, she completely threw it into the trash – after all, she had no intention of wearing it anyway.
Every secret sooner or later becomes apparent – and at the most inopportune moment, as often happens in sitcoms. One day the friends were chatting together, and the friend’s bro asked how she liked the gift. The girl was going to lie something like “thank you, I really liked it” and thereby close the issue forever, but a friend intervened…
Yes, living with a roommate can sometimes be not that convenient. Of course, the friend saw this underwear, and saw it in the trash – so she, obviously, without any thinking, immediately blurted out that the author had thrown out her brother’s gift. The guy got mad, saying that the underwear cost a damn ton of money, and that it felt like total disrespect.
It all ended in a scandal – the man accused the OP of thinking he’s some kinda pervert, and the original poster ran to her room in tears. The friend, in turn, claims now that she clearly overreacted, and that her brother ‘was only trying to be nice.’ So the girl decided to ask for advice online – whether she was right or not.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
“Personally, I see several red flags here. Starting with the fact that giving underwear to a person with whom you are not in a relationship seems weird and inappropriate,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “Even if you’ve been friends for years, it’s too intimate for a ‘just a gift,’ unless you’re expecting something more.”
“If it was such an unsuccessful attempt to start a relationship, then obviously it failed. But the further reaction from the man is also rather ugly. Okay, it’s a gift, it’s an expensive gift – but it’s a weird gift as well, and after it’s given – it’s no longer your business how the new owner will dispose of it, right?”
“However, for some reason, it seems to me that this man’s sister was also involved here – at least she could have told him her friend’s exact size. Then her attempt to shield him becomes more clear. Be that as it may, this looks like a violation of personal boundaries and it seems to me that it is worth discussing this case in detail again for the friends – so that this doesn’t happen again,” Irina ponders.
Commenters on the original post also believe that the author’s friend and her brother both acted wrongly, to say the least. “First of all, it was an inappropriate gift. Second, he verbally abused you. Third, your friend threw you under the bus,” one of the commenters wrote. “Your friend underreacted to this whole thing – her brother’s a perv,” another person added.
Either way, people in the comments do think the original poster did exactly the right thing. “That’s a weirdly intimate gift to give someone you aren’t in a relationship with,” one of the commenters is almost sure. “And to follow up by asking if you’ve worn it? He is a creep. He yelled at you because he’s a creep. Keep an eye on him when he visits you and his sister.”
Well, as we can see, the overwhelming majority of people are sure that the author did the right thing here, and her friend and brother, on the contrary, were wrong. But to finally bring this story to a close, we need one more thing. Your point of view. So please feel free to discuss this particular situation in the comments below the post and let’s make it 100% clear.
However, people in the comments unanimously sided with the author, and slated the guy and his sister as well
Image credits: Janaina Lourenço (not the actual photo)
