I wasn't sure what to expect as I sat down to listen to the senate hearing of French ministers yesterday, but I wasn't expecting that.
The chaotic maelstrom of lies, smears, deflections and cynical stereotypes that flowed from the mouths of Gérald Darmanin and Amélie Oudéa-Castera were quite difficult to comprehend or keep track of. I dare say we are all used to our politicians bending the truth at times but I'm not sure I've seen it done at warp speed before.
Where to even start? There was an embarrassing climbdown from Mr Darmanin who told senators that the actual figure of fake tickets scanned before Saturday's match was nearly 2600, a slight deviation from the 40,000 figure he had plucked from the sky days earlier.
But this correction was not delivered with an ounce of contrition as the brazen minister continued to reel off verifiably false statements about there only being issues at the Liverpool turnstiles or that police deployed tear gas to avoid people being crushed.
But perhaps the most telling - and most outrageous - comment came from the newly installed Sports Minister. In a jaw dropping moment, Amélie Oudéa-Castera told the senators: "The time we had to prepare for this final was short. We only knew the identity of the finalists on May 4, especially Liverpool with the very specific risk their fans present to us."
Liverpool fans were quite rightly incensed. Not only will her comments have evoked the most painful memories of the slurs and lies written and spoken about fans in the wake of the Hillsborough disaster, but again they have no basis in reality. Ask any Red who went to the finals in Madrid or Kiev and they will tell you that they were joyful, peaceful occasions that went off without even a hint of trouble. The anomaly here is Paris, and that is because of those who were supposedly in charge of the showpiece occasion.
The grim irony here is that it was most likely the calm, measured behaviour of many Liverpool fans that prevented a dangerous situation turning into a tragic one. Not the use of tear gas, as Mr Darmanin seemed to suggest. Many of those we have spoken with this week explained how, as thousands were inexplicably packed into those small areas outside the Stade de France, it was in fact Liverpool fans who called for calm. No group of supporters could have been more aware of how precarious this situation really was.
It is hard to imagine just how revolting it was for those same fans to then hear Mr Darmanin suggest that it was in fact the brutal, unprovoked use of pepper spray and tear gas on Liverpool fans by French police that prevented large scale injury or death. This is a pretty difficult notion to square with widely shared videos of armed officers casually walking up to individual law-abiding Reds fans and spraying them in the eyes.
Of course there is a lot of context behind these smears. These are ministers under real pressure now. Ms Oudea-Castera, a former tennis player, has only been in her post for a couple of weeks and has found herself at the centre of an international scandal, while Mr Darmanin is reportedly at real risk of being dismissed by French President Emmanuel Macron, who is said to be furious at the shameful handling of Saturday's final, with France due to host the Rugby World Cup and the Olympics in the coming years.
Add in the small matter of French legislative elections in less than two weeks and it becomes even more obvious why these ministers are desperately scrabbling around to push the blame for the weekend's horrendous scenes away from themselves.
The reality is that those ministers are looking increasingly isolated with each and every lie they tell. Even the state-owned France24 news network today asked: 'Are French authorities behind on the times on crowd control at football matches? And why not start with a proper apology?'
The French media are one of many groups refusing to believe or accept the contorted version of events being offered by politicians scrapping for their jobs and their reputations. One thing we can be certain of is that Liverpool fans will never let them get away with this.
