FRANKLY APPALLING
When Frank Lampard was announced as the new manager of Frank Lampard’s Everton almost a year ago, he was quick to point out that “you can feel the passion these fans have for their club”. If in the intervening 11 months, Lamps happened to forget just how passionate those fans can be, he was issued with a stark reminder throughout various points of proceedings last night. Perhaps it’s because they’ve had so much practice in recent years, but few fanbases have perfected the art of eff- and jeff-suffused booing as those who occupy the rickety old stands at Goodison Park.
Having sat through yet another league defeat in which Everton’s performance was at times almost heroically inept, those who hadn’t already left were quick to vent their fury with a sustained, guttural chorus of boos at the final whistle. As a Brighton side who were far better than they needed to be took the plaudits from their travelling fans, the players of Everton were let know, in no uncertain terms, that once again they had stunk the place out.
Having seen his team give up three borderline slapstick goals in six catastrophic second-half minutes, Lampard could offer little in the way of excuses. “I cannot control the talk or the decisions when you are around this area of the table,” he said. “This is what happens. When you lose a game like this, I absolutely understand any reaction. I don’t listen to too much of it, because if you do it becomes your focus point.”
Well-liked in certain media circles, Lampard was able to rely on said media chums to rush to his defence this morning, with several pointing out that he had pulled off something in the way of a miracle in keeping Everton up last season and is now being forced to work on a shoestring. All of which is totally fair comment, if you look past the fact they were 16th when he took over last January, finished last season in the exact same spot and are still there after almost half of the current campaign. That’s an awful lot of not so sweet 16th, we’re sure you’ll agree, not least following an £85m summer splurge on such inspirational signings as Dwight McNeil, Neal Maupay and Amadou Onana.
While most Everton fans would almost certainly settle for the sanctuary of another 16th-place finish come this season’s end, the manner of their collapse against Brighton suggests dreams of remaining in such an exalted position could be of the pipe variety. And even if Lampard has been forced to walk the plank before you reach the end of this paragraph, there is no guarantee the board who appointed him can be trusted to replace him with anyone more competent.
Almost to a man, the current Everton gaffer’s six most recent predecessors have all been awful, while the only decent one couldn’t leave fast enough when Real Madrid came calling. A job that looks absolutely tailor-made for a certain no-nonsense former Burnley manager may very well be up for grabs soon, but one suspects that even if he wants it, there’s no guarantee Sean “Give It Dychey” Dyche will get it.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s not the end of my career to come and play in South Africa” – Cristiano Ronaldo is so excited to join Al Nassr, he forgot which country he was in. In other news, Amnesty has called on the player to “use his considerable public platform to draw attention to human rights issues” in Saudi Arabia, where Al-Nassr actually play.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
“Re: Gianni Infantino calling for every country to name a ground after Pelé (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs). Candidates from England could include Valley Peléd or the Peléii Stadium – heck, Burton already play in yellow, so let’s go with that” – Jim Hearson [Pel-land Road? – Football Daily Ed]
“Mykhaylo Mudryk’s tattoos (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) reminded me of this old Daily Mash headline” – Ed Taylor.
“Re: Ronaldo at Al Nassr. Time to make the requisite ‘thrilled to sign with my boyhood club’ joke? This will definitely not end in tears by, say, March” – Mike Wilner.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ed Taylor.
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