LAMPS LEAVES EVERTON LIGHT
The famous Everton Football Club – founder members of the English league, nine-time title winners, Dixie’s team, the school of science, the Bank of England – is going through something of a transitional phase at the moment. They last lifted silverware in 1995, since when major trophies have been won by Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City, Leicester, Liverpool, Portsmouth, Wigan, Aston Villa, Tottenham Hotspur, Blackburn, Middlesbrough, Birmingham City – Birmingham City, for goodness sake – and Swansea. Say what you will about the poorly received 2013 crest, but in retrospect the designer may have been on to something when they took Nil Satis Nisi Optimum off the bottom.
It’s been way too long for a proud old institution. So imagine how the couple of thousand Everton fans felt when, having travelled half the length of the country to watch their team begin their most realistic bid to slake that trophy thirst, they discovered Frank Lampard had made 11 changes to his first XI. Now, while it’s true Frank’s best picks didn’t make much of an impression at Goodison last weekend, when they turned up to assist Leicester with their passing drills, swapping out the entire first-choice selection is fairly radical when you’re struggling for form. And yes, it is only the Milk Cup, oft-ridiculed in some quarters, but then they laughed at Brian Clough when his Nottingham Forest side went hell for leather to win the 1977 Anglo-Scottish Cup. That first little taste of glory “made all the difference”, according to Cloughie, and things didn’t pan out too badly for the Tricky Trees after that.
The journey back to Merseyside after a 4-1 defeat will have been a bumpy one, what with Lampard throwing his players under the bus at regular intervals. He explained that he made his selection with one eye on “a really important league game for us on Saturday”, an implicit admission that Everton are fearful of getting embroiled in another dignity-sapping relegation scrap. But he also admitted that he made changes because “some players knock on your door to want to play regularly … and you put them in because they play for Everton and they should be able to come to Bournemouth when they make changes and compete and in my opinion win the game … and they didn’t do that.” A full and (yes) frank salvo, just about audible above the furious soaping of hands. And that next really important league game for his chastised squad? Back down the M6 to Bournemouth, which, if nothing else, allows them to pick up the fuming players Frank defenestrated along the way.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“England and Argentina are going to get to the final. It will be 3-3 at full-time and there will be extra-time. Two more goals, then penalties. Nobody will miss a penalty. They would have to do something extra. The game will last for 10 years and eventually they will decide to share the cup. And then the whole world will watch and say: ‘Wait, it is a great idea, let’s be friends, and Argentina and England will fix the whole world’s problems’” – we’re not really sure what odds Coldplay’s Chris Martin will get on this outcome at the Human Rights World Cup.
FIVER LETTER
“In the past you’ve been kind enough to mention the wallcharts that I illustrate for each major football tournament, to raise money for the Luton & Dunstable Neonatal Unit where my daughter was cared for after a tricky birth. This year’s are available to buy here. I was thinking of writing something funny in this email, but I figured that would go against everything The Fiver stands for and would actually hamper my chance of a mention” – Elliott Quince.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winners of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Elliott Quince.
MOVING THE GOALPOSTS
The latest edition of our sister email is fresh out of the newsletter-sender thingummy, featuring an interview with freestyle champ Liv Cooke. You can sign up here to get it sent direct to your inbox every Wednesday.
This is an extract from our daily football email, The Fiver. To subscribe for the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
