When Shah Bibi Kamawee looks to the future she sees a black and hopeless vista.
Only 15 months ago the long-time women's rights and disability activist was seized with a deep sense of purpose and mission.
After years of relentless advocacy on behalf of marginalised Afghans she had won a measure of political power, taking a seat in Afghanistan's senate.
Photos show the senator — who lost both her legs as a six-year-old girl when she stepped on a landmine – meeting with veterans and others left crippled by one of the seemingly ceaseless wars which have roiled Afghanistan.
"Everything that causes misery to our society must be prevented," she wrote on her Facebook page.
But then the Taliban came, and Kabul fell.
Now the former senator – like millions of others from Afghanistan — is herself a refugee, cooped up with her husband and four children in a safe house in Pakistan.
Pictures of her today look very different. The prosthetic legs which allowed her to stand proudly in Kabul have worn away and are now useless, forcing Mrs Kamawee back into a wheelchair.
Much of the last year has been an unrelenting blur of pain and gnawing fear. The senator has internal injuries and has spent months battling a horribly persistent pelvic infection.
She has finally managed to see a medical specialist, but her health remains precarious.
"I was in a very, very bad medical condition and could not move my body," she tells the ABC through an interpreter.
"I am now getting antibiotics and drugs which help me, and let me sleep. But I need more help."
Other family members are also struggling with complicated health problems. Her husband – himself a prominent disability activist — is also struggling with a worn prosthetic for a foot he lost as a baby.
Two of her four children have cerebral palsy, and the whole family is still grappling with psychological trauma in the wake of the Taliban's rise.
Finding a way out
The former senator recalls the frightening days when the Taliban seized power last year, and the government she was part of fell with startling speed. She knew immediately that she was in peril.
"I had raised my voice against the Taliban, and for women having equal rights in society," she says.
"They found out where I lived. The Taliban came into the courtyard and started firing, and we fled."
The senator, her husband and her children all spent the following days moving from house to house.
Women's rights advocates overseas tried to secure visas for Mrs Kamawee as chaotic crowds of desperate people crammed outside the gates of Kabul's International Airport. But they had no success.
Eventually the family followed a path that has now been traced by countless others, making their way overland across the border into Pakistan to find a small measure of safety.
But the sense of relief was brief, and has now evaporated.
The senator says Taliban proxies in Pakistan are intent on tracking down members of Afghanistan's former government, like her.
Thousands of Afghans who worked for Western armies and embassies have now found refuge overseas, but countless others remain stuck in Afghanistan and Pakistan, desperately trying to find a way out.
"I am afraid in both countries — both in Afghanistan and Pakistan. In Pakistan, I know that Taliban groups are also looking for me here. That is why we moved residences," she says.
The pressure is also being felt back home. Ms Kamawee says the Taliban has paid terrifying visits to her family members who are still in Afghanistan, demanding information on where she is hiding.
"About one month ago these Taliban [groups] searched the houses of my family members [in Afghanistan] and they said they were searching for me," she tells the ABC.
"And they warned the family that if they know where I am, and we find out you know and didn't tell the authorities, then we will kill you."
Refugees face growing safety risks
Then there is the growing dread of arrest and deportation. The senator's situation is desperate, but it is not unique.
In the last few months, Pakistan's government – which is itself struggling with numerous crises, including devastating floods — has begun to crack down on Afghan refugees, warning foreigners they could face deportation if they don't have the right documents.
At the same time they've refused to renew visas for many Afghans in Pakistan, leaving huge numbers of refugees fearful that they will be sent back to the country they fled.
Zaki Haidari from Amnesty International estimates there are now up to 3 million refugees from Afghanistan in Pakistan.
He says Pakistan's police arrested at least 1,500 of those people in recent weeks, and he fears many more could soon face the same prospect.
"The situation people in Pakistan is going through – including my family – is very hard," he tells the ABC.
"You never know when you will be captured by the Pakistan police or army. There is a potential that you will be jailed, or that you will be deported.
"So that fear and anxiety is really high among refugees in Pakistan — in particular, high profile refugees. If they get deported they will be persecuted by the Taliban."
This anxiety is acute for Mrs Kamawee and her family.
They believe she could be killed if she is forced back to Afghanistan. Her supporters overseas are trying to find her refuge in any country which can offer her safety.
Australia asked to offer more support
One of those countries is Australia. The former senator and her family applied for humanitarian visas in September, and last week she received confirmation from the Australian government that it's looking at her application.
"I am requesting emergency help from the Australian government. Our conditions are very bad. Our family members are disabled and there is no-one to take care of us. So we may die all together," she says.
But the brute reality is she is joining a very large group of people desperate to find safe harbour.
Australia announced earlier this year that it would offer visas – through the humanitarian and family streams – to 31,500 people from Afghanistan.
But demand has been overwhelming, and officials are still processing applications made far earlier than those submitted by Mrs Kamawee.
The government says it will prioritise Afghans who worked for the Australian government before the Taliban regained power, as well as people with "enduring links" to Australia.
Women, girls and those from minority groups – including ethnic minorities and gay and lesbian Afghans – will also be prioritised.
Still, the former senator's work and advocacy has won her friends in Australia, who are lobbying for her now – including the former defence minister Linda Reynolds.
"I wrote to the Minister for Home Affairs in October 2022 urging intervention when I discovered the Pakistan Government was threatening to deport Afghanis [sic.] without valid visas," Senator Reynolds said.
"I have received correspondence from Minister Andrew Giles informing me Mrs Kamawee's visa application is still being processed and I call on the government to make a decision as soon as possible."
Advocates for the family promise they will not give in.
The executive director of Azadi-e Zan, Susan Hutchinson, says Mrs Kamawee is "one of about 50 women's rights defenders we've been trying to support in Pakistan while we await visas for their final destinations of safety".
Ms Hutchinson recognises the scale of the demand, but she cannot hide her frustration at the large numbers of people who remain stranded in Afghanistan and Pakistan in dire circumstances.
"We know the system is beyond overloaded," she says.
"There are no functional mechanisms to systematise the prioritisation of women's rights defenders, people from minority groups, and others who are in the highest risk categories."
She has been pushing the government to consider alternative pathways to get people out of Afghanistan — suggesting they could exploit the skilled migrant streams for educated Afghans who face political persecution.
"I have proposed a skilled migrant visa scheme to the relevant ministers, so that many of these incredibly talented Afghans could come to Australia on expedited skilled migrant visas, pulling them out of the backlogged refugee processing system and putting them to work in jobs on Australia's priority employment list," she says.
"But the government still hasn't even responded to this proposal."
Mrs Kamawee's plea is simpler. She wants nothing more than safety for her family, wherever it can found, and she is not above begging for help.
"Australia is a friendly country. It is taking lots of disabled people and women's rights activists from Afghanistan," she says.
"Please help me and my family."
