Forget relationships – here is why your attachment style could be ruining your friendships

Anxiety, jealousy and disorganisation: there are many ways attachment styles can show themselves - (Getty)

Like so many others, my anxious attachment style reached its unbearable apex during the pandemic. I remember staring at my phone, watching friends typing and sending messages in a WhatsApp group, feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Paranoia told me they were gossiping about me behind my back in a separate group. So I sent messages to each of them individually to make sure everything was okay. Of course, it was. But the noise in my head was not.

People talk about attachment theory a lot. But for the most part, the conversation centres on romantic relationships: is the reason you’re not ready to call him your boyfriend because you’re an avoidant? Are you catastrophising about why she hasn’t replied to your texts because you’re anxious? Do you never worry about anything much at all because you’re a secure unicorn?