John Lewis has released their Christmas ad to the usual hype and fanfare, but we know where it's at this year - and we've found the one and only advert you need in your lives.
You know the countdown to the big day is really on, when all the big names start releasing their Christmas ads, and none is more highly anticipated that the John Lewis offering. You can just imagine the tension in the JL marketing team meetings, for those whose one job is to produce a festive ad for the store more tear-inducing than the one that came before - it's highly likely they're sacked on the spot if the streets aren't flooded with the tears of ten million department store enthusiasts the day after the advert's release.
In all fairness to John Lewis, they have stripped back a bit this year and the 2024 advert's nod to Narnia and how their store can find you the perfect gift, is very much a far cry from men on the moon and penguin besties. But it's almost too little too late for us, because we've been loving the 80s vibe coursing through the televisual veins this year - hello there, Joan and Rivals. In the same way these epic shows have thrown us back to a time of big hair, titan shoulder pads and electric blue eye shadow palettes, we want the same from our Christmas ad - this is where Woolworths in 1981 comes into play.
Nothing screams "Christmas!" more than Cossack dancing men urging you to buy an electric organ for your loved one from Woolies, and a woman who looks suspiciously like Princess Diana pointing out budget sweaters and looking lovingly at a tin of Quality Street. This is what the blast from the past advert treats you to, while a veritable nostalgic feast plays out against an ABBA-esque earworm tune that's cheesier than Camembert left out in the sun.
What an absolute joy. This is the sort of trip down memory lane that invokes memories of much simpler times - skipping around Woolies pointing out what you wanted on your Christmas list, or poring over the Argos catalogue with your mates and debating whether you wanted a Sindy Magic Cooker or the Sylvanian Families Bakery. Fighting with your family over the copy of Radio Times to circle the unmissable telly over the festive period - that's Christmas.
Christmas or not, the Woolworths pick'n'mix was legendary all year round, and watching the advert reminds us of going into Woolworths with a few pence and coming out with a bag bursting with fizzy cola bottles and a selection of pink chocolate animals. What a time to be alive.
The Christmas ads of today do nothing more than remind us that Christmas has turned into a frenetic round of endless consumerism. If you're a woman, it often comes with the intense stress of months of planning, budgeting, Instagram perfect wrapping and tree decs, and mainlining coffee on Christmas Day because you had to get up at 1am to get the dinner on.
Can't we just hop into a time machine and surround ourselves with gaudy tinsel and lay awake all night hoping the man in red left a Popple of a Keyper under the tree? This year, we shun joining the race to shed the most tears at the crying Olympics set up by the biggest brands when their ads come out. Instead, we're bringing back the joy and will be singing "Have a cracking Christmas, at Woolworths, Woolworths is the place to be," while we skip into the festive period like the carefree kids we once were.
