Slap on the suncream, don your sunglasses and head to your nearest Boxpark to be showered in overpriced pilsner: the World Cup is here in … wait, November?! That pint hurled at you isn’t going to feel nearly as pleasant in single digit temperatures, is it?
These are strange times and a strange World Cup, happening out of season in a nation state the size of Yorkshire, and with as much attention (rightly) focused on the human rights violations of its host as on the football itself.
Its moral murkiness notwithstanding, I am tentatively looking forward to the tournament, particularly as Wales are making their first appearance in the tournament in 64 years (waka, waka, eh, eh)! Still, I do sympathise with those who are desperate to skirt the thing, because that is going to be harder than ever. Usually the World Cup’s position smack-bang in the middle of summer means the football-loathers can at least head out into the sunshine to avoid it. In winter there’s no such escape.
In its early stages this World Cup will cram in four matches a day, pretty much uninterrupted from 10am to 9pm, and that’s without accounting for highlights programmes, news reports and features packages on the One Show where they have a border collie predict how far England will go. Oh, and a prominent position on the Guardian homepage (Though, remember, there is a hide button).
But the Guide is here for you, dear football-averse reader. We’ve selected a clutch of series currently available on streaming that are each lengthy enough to distract you for the duration of the tournament. We’ve avoided those obvious magnum opus series that we’re all familiar with (though much respect to anyone who is planning to spend the next month rewatching The Wire for the 3rd/4th/87th time), and instead have opted for some ever-so-slightly more under-the-radar shows, all of which lasted for four seasons or more. That should see you right through to the final on 18 December …
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Better Things
Where can I watch it? iPlayer
How much is there? 5 series, 52 episodes
Pamela Adlon’s semi-autobiographical series about an actor trying to juggle work and raising/placating her three complex daughters is the Netherlands ‘74 team of the comedy world: it never got the garlands its brilliance deserved (its final series aired earlier this year to limited fanfare). Few shows have managed to feel so lived-in, never succumbing to cliche, every character beat seeming both unexpected and entirely earned. Oh and it’s really, really funny too.
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The Sinner
Where can I watch it? Netflix
How much is there? 4 series, 32 episodes
Even if the World Cup was on 24/7, it still would struggle to match the glut of detective dramas on our screens. But this murder mystery anthology distinguishes itself from the pack through its distinctive premise – each season Bill Pullman’s detective looks into a murder committed by an unlikely culprit – and surprising plotting. If you only have time to watch one series, make it the brilliant second one where Pullman investigates the case of a child who has ‘fessed to poisoning his parents.
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Brassic
Where can I watch it? Sky/NowTV
How much is there? 4 series, 28 episodes
Is there a more unashamedly fun show on British TV at the moment than Brassic? Part Shameless, part Guy Ritchie caper, it recently ended its fourth series with the same boisterous enthusiasm as it began its first. Whether its greyhound racing or classic car theft, Joe Gilgun and his clan of bad lads approach the task with the same droll outlook, eyebrow permanently raised. A fifth series is coming next year.
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The Venture Bros
Where can I watch it? All 4
How much is there? 7 series, 86 episodes
The best series ever made by gonzo cartoon channel Adult Swim, this long-running animated series started out as a fairly straightforward parody of boys-own adventures like The Hardy Boys and Jonny Quest and evolved into something far more interesting: a dizzying blend of complex plotting, off colour meta-humour and occasional meditations on human nature. It’s almost impossible to summarise the spy caper, so best to dive into the first episode and take it from there.
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Every Hugo Blick drama
Where can I watch it? Various
How much is there? 4 series
Bewitched by The English, the Emily Blunt-starring revisionist western currently airing on BBC One/iPlayer? You should dive into the thoughtful, twisty and very stylish past works of its showrunner Hugo Blick. Crime thriller The Shadow Line (streaming on BritBox and UKTV Play) follows figures on both sides of the law during a murder investigation, the classy spy drama The Honourable Woman (UKTV Play), sees Maggie Gyllenhaal try to atone for her arms dealer father’s sins in the Middle East and Black Earth Rising (Netflix) teams up the unlikely duo of John Goodman and Michaela Coel for a drama about bringing war criminals to justice.
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