Being a guest at a wedding can be a great time: good food, flowing drinks, dancing and memories made. As someone who has planned her own wedding and attended many weddings, I find it much less stressful both financially and emotionally to attend one vs planning your own. However, being a wedding guest isn’t without its financial considerations.
The cost of attending a wedding can vary widely depending on a number of factors, including who the wedding is for, the location of the wedding, whether travel is involved and the related events leading up to the big event. In one study, the Knot reported that the average cost to attend a wedding last year in one’s hometown, where lodging and travel were unnecessary, was $250. Once you add in travel and hotel for out-of-town weddings, the cost jumped dramatically to an average cost of $1,600.
Here are some aspects to consider as a wedding guest to help you plan, maintain good wedding-guest etiquette and keep your expenditures in check this wedding season.
1. Plan travel well in advance.
When it comes to destination weddings involving flights and hotels, you can get the best flight deals and secure better hotel rates by planning early. Both get increasingly expensive if you wait until the last minute to book. According to The Points Guy, on average, the best time to book a domestic flight is one to two months before your departure date.
Oftentimes with hotel rooms, a couple will secure a block of rooms for their guests at a discounted rate. Be sure to check the wedding invite to see if they have done so, and again — book early because these rooms are usually the first to go. And don’t feel like you have to stay at one of the hotels recommended by the couple. Often, lower-cost options, including home rentals through Airbnb or Vrbo, are just as great and make it easier to split the cost of lodging with friends or family.
2. Plan for pre- and post-wedding events.
For those attending destination weddings, frequently there are pre-wedding events or cocktails and/or post-wedding brunches in the mix. With this in mind, be sure to account for those extra events and additional nights at the hotel in your budget. That alone could add hundreds or thousands to the cost of your trip.
If you don’t have the extra room in your budget to cover these additional events, it’s OK to politely decline! The couple will be grateful that you can attend the main event.
3. Buy the wedding gift ASAP.
By planning and buying the wedding gift early, you also have the best selection of gifts off the registry. By best, I mean the widest selection — one that can fit your budget. If you would like to get the couple a big-ticket item off their registry, consider asking other guests to go in on it as a group gift. Depending on how big your group is, you may even save some money, and the couple will be happy to receive something that may be out of range for one person to afford.
Also, if your budget is tight now, don’t forget that it’s OK to give a wedding present up to three months after the wedding. Most important, stick to what is comfortable and within your budget. This may be an old saw, but it still holds true: It’s the thought that counts!
4. Start saving early.
If you know that you have an expensive wedding coming up, figure out how much you think you’ll need to spend and break down the savings goals into smaller chunks. Don’t forget to prioritize your own future retirement savings and debt repayment when you are creating your savings budget to attend the wedding.
If you work and receive regular paychecks, try having a part of your paycheck automatically deposited into a high-yield savings account. Many of these accounts are currently paying upwards of 5%, FDIC insured and are fully liquid. It’s much easier to save toward a goal when you set it and forget it and don’t have to think twice about it.
5. Leverage credit card points.
If you are traveling for a wedding, using a credit card is a great way to earn points and pay for travel. The best travel rewards credit cards might offer upwards of 100,000 bonus points if you spend a certain dollar amount within the first few months of having the card. They might offer more points if you book travel and lodging through their website and will offer additional travel deals and travel protection.
For example, I’ve seen deals on my own credit cards that have offered cash-back promotions, sometimes for up to several hundred dollars, if you book at certain hotel chains. Just be sure that you can pay off your credit card debt in full every month. You don’t want to negate those savings by paying high credit card interest on any balances.
Good friends are understanding friends
Don’t jeopardize your own long-term goals to attend a wedding. Remember to set a budget and savings plan as early as possible and revisit it to ensure you stay on track. If you review the numbers and decide you truly can’t fit attending the wedding within your budget, don’t be afraid to send your regrets. The earlier you can communicate that you can’t attend, the better.
It may be tough to skip out on a friend’s wedding, but there are numerous ways you can support and show up for them before and after the wedding, whether it be by attending pre-wedding events, sending them a gift even if you don’t attend or having a bottle of champagne delivered on their honeymoon. Remember that being present in spirit and sending heartfelt wishes can be just as meaningful.
