Ferne McCann reckons giving birth was easier than taking part in Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
The 32-year-old reality star said she was reduced to tears every day and considered quitting the tough Channel 4 show, in which stars are pushed to their limits in gruelling military-style training exercises.
But Ferne insists the experience has only made her stronger – helping her become a
better mother to her four-year-old daughter Sunday and putting her on track to find happiness with her “soulmate”, Lorri Haines.
“I know that it sounds bloody ridiculous, but this life-changing course has, without doubt, changed me,” Ferne said.
“Without doubt, it’s going to make me better in my relationship and better as a parent because I’ve now learned boundaries and discipline.”
Essex-born Ferne got engaged to Dubai real estate agent Lorri, 31, in July.
She said: “I’ve never felt this level and balance of contentment in my life.
“I’m now a better mother, for sure. And do you know what I learned? I never could
discipline my daughter. I found it very difficult and really struggled with boundaries.
“But doing this show, I learned boundaries like you wouldn’t believe, and I learned discipline and routine. So I came back and I was like, ‘No, I am going to discipline my child’. And if it means her hating me for a little bit, so be it.”
The former Towie star says going on to appear on Celebrity SAS knocked her down but built her back up again.
“I can’t tell you how much this experience has changed me as a person,” she said. “It has changed me in the most positive way.
“I feel that I’ve been tested and broken down to the lowest.
“I’m going to give myself credit because through absolute adversity, when you hit totally rock-bottom, to find a little bit of strength to still push further… that’s something I didn’t know I had in me.
“I went into SAS with no self-belief and I crawled out an absolute warrior.”
Ferne’s not a novice when it comes to reality shows, having found fame on Towie and finished third in the 2015 series of I’m A Celebrity, so she could be forgiven for thinking she could play the system and get the SAS producers on side – but she soon found out that wasn’t an option.
“There was me thinking, ‘Oh, I’m going to be a little bit savvy because I’m a reality star, I’ve got a few reality shows under my belt and I’ll be able to have a little chinwag with the producer, see how I’m getting on’. But you’re totally stripped of absolutely everything like that.
“I became really quite paranoid. Do you know what I mean? I was, like, ‘Oh, am I doing good? Is my family alright back home?’
“Your mind really, really f***s with you. You’re physically drained and you are mentally drained as well.”
Ferne told how she seriously thought about giving up on the show and cried constantly because her emotions got the better of her.
But she still reckons giving birth is easier than tackling the programme. She said: “I’d give birth in the parade square in front of everyone, that would be easier! It was the most painful thing but I swear to God, I would much rather push a baby out and give birth again – naturally, with no pain relief – than do SAS again.”
During the show, competitive Ferne had to take on EastEnders actress Maisie Smith, 21, in a fist fight – and was left fuming when she was ruled the loser. She said: “Maisie got a kicking but then won. If that wasn’t an absolute fix, I don’t know what is.
“It was a headf***. I was, like, ‘Are you joking?’ Literally, that was the moment where it just beats you down… every single given opportunity, it breaks you down.” Ferne, whose former boyfriend Arthur Collins was jailed for 20 years for an acid attack at a London nightclub in 2017 while she was pregnant with Sunday, says she channelled her “inner demons” to release all her aggression against Strictly star Maisie.
“I had to prove myself so I didn’t care who was standing in front of me,” she said.
“I wanted to cry after because I’m not a fighter at all but I just went for it and I took out some aggression and I just channelled everything in my life that has ever failed me.”
Other Celebrity SAS recruits this year include Ferne’s fellow Towie star Pete Wicks, 33, Brookside’s Jennifer Ellison, 39, TV personality Calum Best, 41, brothers and former Strictly Come Dancing pros AJ, 27, and Curtis Pritchard, 26, 2019 Love Island winner Amber Gill, 25, and former footballer Ashley Cain, 31.
The show also boasts a serious roster of athletes, such as javelin ace Fatima Whitbread, 61, sprinter Dwain Chambers, 44, taekwondo star Jade Jones, 29, boxer Shannon Courtenay, 28, and paralympic high jumper Jonathan Broom-Edwards, 34.
