Donald Trump Commander in Cheat
It’s not often you get to say you spent the week with Donald Trump. Thank god for small mercies.
Citizen Donald Trump, that is - the golfer and American tourist - not the President Of The United States.
Although he may be back as the leader of the free world again, next time he’s in town - considering it looks like himself and auld Biden again in the 2024 race.
Trump’s visit to see his beautiful golf club at Doonbeg in Co Clare last Wednesday and Thursday was supposed to be a private affair.
But The Don can’t resist the glare of the cameras or the hum of a microphone and he was repeatedly coming over to journalists like a bee to honey during his visit.
On Thursday morning, he gave the press corps an impromptu interview from the first tee, a four minute rant actually.
Then he posed for the cameras as he swung his way around the fairways of Doonbeg.
It has often been claimed that Donald Trump is a liar and a cheat in the robust political discourse of the US.
He supposedly tells a few tall tales about his prowess on the golf course too - and if you cheat on the golf course, you’ll cheat in life, so they say.
There’s a long history of political leaders around the world exaggerating their own sporting talents to signal energy and vigour - like Putin always winning at ice hockey and Mao Zedong swimming the Yangtze River.
But it turns out he’s not really the Commander in Cheat, as he was dubbed by legendary US sports writer, Rick Reilly.
He used it in the the title of his book, Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump.
It tells how Trump cheats - sometimes with the help of his caddies and Secret Service agents - and lies about his scores, in what’s called The Trump Bump.
Not so, down in Doonbeg.
He hit the ball down the first, which was into the wind, turned to the waiting media - and a posse of a few Americans who had come out of the hotel - and said: “There it is, 280 yards.
“Biden doesn’t hit a 280 right down the middle, does he?
“Biden can’t hit an 80 down the middle.”
I’m no Rory McIlroy but I know that the average pro golfer hits the ball between 270 and 300 plus yards, usually on a sunny, calm day, while in a t-shirt in somewhere like Florida.
Not on a cold, windy day in the west of Ireland, and a pro is generally in their 20s or 30s, not 76 years of age. Was he telling the truth?
So, we marked the spot where he hit it to, and later measured the distance, and it clocked in at 230 - which is not that bad for an old swinger, to be honest.
He stretched the truth a bit on his final score for the round, on a difficult day. He strutted off the 18th green and told the waiting media gaggle he hit 71 - that’s one under par - something most Tour pros might find it tough to match in Doonbeg.
We asked around to find out if he really did hit the fantastical 71.
One regular said, with a wink: “Of course. Whenever he comes here he never loses a ball, breaks the course record every now and then and always wins the money. What do you think?”.
Simon Harris takes on Elon Musk
Justice Minister Simon Harris picked big beasts to rumble with last Friday when he chose to criticise, reportedly the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, and the family of the man who is self-reportedly one of the world’s richest men, Donald Trump.
There has been much conversation about the new hate speech legislation that is coming down the tracks, and it is coming down the tracks because it has cross-party support in the Oireachtas.
It proposes to make it a pretty serious offence to say or do something considered hateful against someone else based on their minority status, with a hefty prison sentence of up to five years attached to the legislation.
Harris is leading the charge as stand-in Justice Minister for Helen McEntee, due back from maternity leave next month by the way.
Word about our proposed legislation has gone global on some social media sites, bringing it to the attention of the Trumps and Musk.
Donald Trump Jnr has described the legislation as “insane,” while Mr Musk has commented that it is “very concerning.”
This all led Knight Harris on Friday to declare: “Any time Donald Trump and Elon Musk have a different view to you is not a bad day at the office.”
Good luck with that next US visa application for your Paddy’s Day junket to the States if The Donald wins next year’s election Simon….
Quote of the Week
“We have the ocean and nobody else does,” ex-POTUS Donald Trump on his decision to rename his golf course in west Clare, Doonbeg on the Ocean, despite the fact that all ‘links’ golf courses in the world are built by the sea.
