No more TDs in the kitchen at parties
Thank God for small mercies, it looks like our kitchens and sitting rooms will no longer be invaded by politicians looking for a cup of tea - and a vote of course.
It was normally only a phenomenon that was observed once every five years or so, around election time of course.
But it seems like the TDs and Senators who made a habit of inviting themselves into our homes for a cup of tea will now be wary of crossing the threshold.
That’s because new security advice from the Oireachtas authorities has warned our popular politicians to stay away from kitchens, because that’s where the knives are.
This is, of course, to be welcomed.
The new advice came in the wake of the now infamous dung-throwing incident in Galway the week before last.
Fianna Fáil junior minister Anne Rabbitte and Fine Gael TD Ciaran Cannon were at a community meeting in Gort when the shit, literally, hit the fan after lumps of cow dung were tossed in their general directions.
It was a despicable act and the cows too were said to be particularly offended.
The aftermath of the shitstorm saw the Clerk of the Dáil write to Members, that’s TDs and Senators to you and me, giving them security advice to help them avoid abuse in the future.
The good news for the ordinary voter is that the advice is to stay away from people’s homes, and to plan meetings in public places instead - thank you Mr Clerk.
The welcome advice suggests a politician carries out “a mini risk assessment on the property before approaching.”
Then, after the die is cast and the brave politician has knocked on the door, they are warned to “step back” from the doorstep.
The advice then states: “Use your sense: smell, sight, hearing, gut-feel – and if anything feels ‘off’ make an excuse for not going in.”
The crucial, lifesaving advice then warns TDs should avoid "meeting in the kitchen" as it provides “many possibilities when it comes to dangerous weapons that are best avoided”.
TDs are also encouraged to carry a personal alarm, as if they weren’t generally loud enough already, and they should also “wear comfortable shoes that you can move quickly in, if you need to”.
The letter also give general advice, saying: “Arising from the security incident last week involving two members of the Houses of the Oireachtas, An Garda Síochána has been in contact to say that, as per the advice given that security briefings for members last year, if any member requires guidance on security, he or she should liaise with our local crime prevention officers (CPO).”
The magic CPOs can also “advise you on securing your permanent offices.
“They can discuss physical and electronic security with you to create a safer environment.”
All in all, it aims to ensure a safe distance between politicians and ordinary people, something everyone will probably welcome.
Suits you sir
It’s back to school time for the country’s politicians week, and like the schoolchildren getting kitted out in new uniforms ahead of a new term, TDs and Senators were getting suited and booted last week and over the weekend.
Politicians are like the rest of us in many ways, after all, they’re supposed to be representatives of the people, a cross-section of society, seriously.
It’s no surprise then that our TDs and Senators, councillors too of course, fancy a good bargain when they can get one.
It’s probably not a shock then that we spotted two national politicians at the New Year’s suit sale in Arnotts when out getting our own new ‘tin of fruit’ for the 2023 season.
I’m sure Arnotts won’t mind the plug, so fair play to the bargain hunters, both from the same party, Fine Gael, who spotted a great deal when snapping up half price Magee suits.
Of course I bought one, that’s how I spotted our dapper politicians, one when I was picking out the nice suit, the second time when I was picking it up after the nip and tuck alteration.
The only problem I have now is, like when a woman sees a friend out in the same dress, what if all three of us meet in the Dáil corridor in the same suit on the same day. Morto….
Another one bites the dust
There’s a famous line from Oscar Wilde in The Importance of Being Earnest that sprung to mind this week when I heard another of the Government’s junior ministers had fallen on his sword.
“To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
The infamous quote came from the reprehensible Lady Bracknell to the young Jack Worthing, the main man of Wilde’s play.
Fine Gael’s Damien English walked the plank before the weekend over his handling of property interests and subsequent reporting of his assets on the Dáil register..
Of course, it was a similar cock-up from Fianna Fáil’s Robert Troy last year that saw him take the honourable course and stand down from the junior ministerial ranks too.
Many in the Fine Gael/Fianna Fáil ranks must feel a bit like poor Jack after they lost not just one, but two young ministers in recent months.
For me, it just copperfastens my belief that this Government is becoming more like a dramatic farce every day.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Wear comfortable shoes that you can move quickly in, if you need to,” Dáil management security advice for TDs when out meeting their constituents.
ENDS
