Artificial Intelligence, or AI, not to be confused with a similar term more familiar to those from agricultural stock in the Dáil, is all the rage these days.
And there has been talk of it on the corridors of power in Leinster House too, with some wily TDs asking if perhaps ChatGPT might do a better job at fixing some or our problems than their human counterparts.
I wonder what would happen if you entered ‘how to fix the housing crisis’ into the AI algorithm?
It would probably do better than to leave a 78 woman and her disabled husband facing eviction, like Micheline Walsh who had to go to the national media to get help for her plight last week.
Or, could whatever robot ChatGPT sent to the Dáil really do any worse than those in charge at the HSE and the Department of Health who seem to be going backwards the more money you throw at them - over €23billion a year by the way.
So, what would happen if we did replace our TDs with robots using a ChatGPT operating system to answer constituents’ queries and while the day away arguing in the Dáil?
Well, thankfully, the boffins at Stanford University in the US are already on the case.
And the results would make you think twice about ditching the whole circus in Leinster House, with overpaid clown TDs and a joke of an expenses regime, with a few reasoning ChatGPT robots.
How much harm could they do?
Well, it turns out that perhaps they could do a whole lot of good, perhaps better than living, breathing, expensive real carbon-based organic TDs.
The Stanford research concluded that: “AI ranked consistently as more factual and logical, less angry, and less reliant upon storytelling as a persuasive technique.”
And while they’re at it, why not get Deputy ChatGPT to run your election campaigns for you, because the study also found that: “AI-generated persuasive appeals were as effective as ones written by humans in persuading human audiences on several political issues.”
It might get those behind the scenes at party headquarters all over the country to think about just downloading software ahead of the next election instead of hiring pricey strategists.
All of this is fairly ironic in that the politician who was most eager to introduce AI into Irish society was Fianna Fáil’s Robert Troy.
Mr Troy could have used some of that logical, rational thinking in answering the questions about his intricate property dealings that ultimately cost him his job as a junior minister.
It is actually supremely ironic that Mr Troy lost out after investing so much time studying AI and promoting its value.
A little bit of artificial intelligence instead of his low intelligence stonewalling as the story about his multiple property dealings started to percolate might have saved his skin.
Mr Troy even created the role of Artificial Intelligence Ambassador last May, why didn’t he ask a robot what to do that day, he might still be a junior minister if he did.
Satirist Oliver Callan got in trouble recently for suggesting that Leo Varadkar was a bit of a robot. Well, the way things are moving forward now at a rate of knots, maybe it mightn’t be such a big insult after all to be called robotic in politics.
Anyone for Drone Deputies in the Dáil???
Top Gun comes to the Dáil
Maverick goings on in the Dáil on Wednesday when the issue of the Irish Air Force was raised in the Dáil.
Of course, we don’t have one, just a small Air Corps, which is what made it all the more comical when Leo Varadkar and ex-army Cathal Berry came across all Top Gun in the Chamber.
The Taoiseach was optimistic, he’d like an air force, he said we need an air force, just that we’d have to cut our cloth according to our measure, suggesting we may have to settle for maybe an Air Force One.
No, not a US President-style customised jet for the Taoiseach, but one decent fighter jet that we could scramble up to scare the be-jaysus out of any bogies that dared enter our airspace uninvited.
The two men were enthusiastic, Leo said: “On foot of the recommendations of the Commission on the Defence Forces, we are going to build up our Air Corps and radar capability so that we have an air force but it will be a small air force, appropriate for a country of 5 million people.”
Cathal ‘Goose’ Berry, was pleased with Leo ‘Maverick’ Varadkar’s response, so much so that I almost thought I heard him whisper ‘you can be my wingman anytime’ as he sat down.
Hollywood, downtown Kerry
Michael Healy Rae does a great job promoting his native county of Kerry at every opportunity presented to him.
If it was up to him you’d have the entire apparatus of the State run out of the Kingdom.
Hell, why just limit running the country from there, why not move the UN from New York to Killarney, and make Farranfore an international airport, the new JFK, while we’re at it.
But for now, Deputy Healy Rae will have to be happy enough that Hollywood is relocating to Kerry.
Well, that’s the impression you would’ve gotten if you attended the launch of the Budgetary Oversight Committee’s report into the future of the film production tax credit, otherwise known as Section 481.
We know that we have long been the envy of other European countries when it comes to attracting movie money investment here, from Saving Private Ryan, to Braveheart and more recently Russell Crowe’s iffy The Pope’s Exorcist.
However, according to uber-producer Michael, Kerry is where it’s at, and has been for decades as the county is the natural base for all things movie magic.
The wily TD waxed eloquently how, from Ryan’s Daughter to Star Wars, with little gems like The Field in between, Kerry is the “Sunset Boulevard” of Irish film locations.
Quote of the Week
“Gone up like a rocket and come down like a feather. The evidence is there, even the European Central Bank says it, that there are some companies recording bumper profits. That is profiteering in my view” - Taoiseach Leo Varadkar commenting on supermarket prices
