Fearne Cotton has revealed she suffered from “crippling anxiety” while working at BBC Radio One, leading her to “hide in bathrooms”.
The 42-year-old broadcaster opened up about her time fronting the show which she did for a year in 2008. She then moved on to present her own weekday show for six years until 2015.
At the time, Cotton was one of the station’s biggest names, but said she felt unable to speak out as back then, conversations about mental health were not something that happened.
Speaking to The Shift podcast, she said: "I wish it had been different in a way back then because I had such an excruciating time when I was on Radio 1. I didn't feel I could tell anyone because we didn't know that was a possibility back then that you could say 'Look, I am really struggling here and I don't know what to do'.
"And there's still a long way to go but I'm so glad that there is at least a crack in the door. I'm so glad that the ties have changed but back then I massively struggled in that situation of feeling so incapable of doing my job and talking publicly to millions of people every day whilst slowly corroding inside. Sometimes I'd sort of get up and go to the toilet while songs were on and just sort of sit there but I certainly wouldn't tell anyone why or what was going on."
Cotton left Radio 1 in 2015 after announcing she was pregnant with her second child.
She returned to the airwaves on BBC Radio 2 in 2016 but left five years later to focus on her mental health. She currently host of Sounds of the 90s on BBC Radio 2, which airs on Saturday nights from 10pm-midnight.
Despite seeming like she was on top of the world, she says that the panic attacks persisted.
Cotton continued: "As I started to get back into work, literally out of the blue, I started getting panic attacks. Which I've wondered if it was me coming out of a period of depression and a stark wake-up to all of this stuff: because it felt a very harsh switch.
“The panic attacks in my early 30s were thick and fast and I was being triggered if I went too fast in a vehicle or, certainly, if I was on live TV or radio. And I persevered for a bit, on live radio, I was covering for Zoe Ball for maybe a year but then it got to the point where I was fine on-air but I couldn't sleep at night; I was having panic attacks for hours, all night long, it was horrendous.”
