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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Hannah Phillips & Saffron Otter

Fat-shamed woman blasts 'slimy ex' who blamed her size for their 'lazy sex life'

A fat-shamed woman has blasted her ex-boyfriend who blamed her size for him 'not being any good in the bedroom' - labelling her shape as the problem.

Niaomi Jones ended her three-month relationship with the man earlier this month because of what she describes as their 'lazy and one-sided' sex life.

But when the 28-year-old explained why she wanted to break up over his lack of effort by text, she says that he lashed out.

The unnamed partner hit back by saying the 'bio mechanics' of foreplay were impossible because he would have to 'hold up her tummy'.

Niaomi shared the exchange on social media (Kennedy News & Media)
He has since congratulated her on her weight loss (Kennedy News & Media)

The 'slimy' bloke went on to praise Niaomi's weight loss and say that soon her 'tummy wasn't going to hang so much' - but until this happens it would be 'awkward'.

The credit controller says the message massively knocked her confidence but believes he's using her size as an excuse for him not wanting to put in any effort.

Niaomi, from Hull, East Yorkshire, said: "I was so shocked by the message because I said to everyone with every fibre of my being that there was nothing toxic about him, he was just lazy.

"It was down to sex why I decided to split up. It was all very one-sided.

"Sex was so seldom, it was once every few weeks and we pencilled it in. He always wanted oral but he didn't kiss me or do anything in my direction. It couldn't go on anymore.

"I sent him a message explaining he makes no effort with foreplay towards me but he said I needed to do stripteases and God knows what to get him in the mood but I don't get anything in return.

"I told him he gets oral sex all the time but what do I get? No kissing or touching or anything and he came back with that message.

"I was a bit desensitized because he made jokes that I didn't take offence to.

"Having it laid out in a serious way and in such detail about why it's impossible for him to do it, I was like 'is he joking?'

"I know it's bullsh*t because I've been with people in the past and it wasn't an issue.

"I started really doubting myself thinking it was a me problem and how would I go into anything in the future. It massively knocked my confidence."

Her ex-partner documented his thoughts and tried to defend his lack of attention to her needs in a nasty message exchange.

Her ex wrote: "The reason I don't do anything with you darling is because it's pretty much impossible to do anything with you with the shape you're in...

"But you're doing amazing with your weight loss and your tummy isn't always going to hang so much...

The ex blamed her body shape for his 'laziness' when getting intimate (Kennedy News & Media)
Niaomi, along with social media users, were outraged over his comments (Kennedy News & Media)

"That's not an insult in any way, shape or form because I met you when you were three stone heavier and I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world and I still do now.

"You know I think you're stunning. It's just the bio mechanics of it all. And I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to."

Niaomi responded by saying that he was making excuses and that she'd never had any problems with sexual relationships in the past.

Niaomi continued: "I told him he was full of sh*t and it was a lie and I didn't need to defend myself to him. I was quite brave.

"He'll never let me make me think of myself in any type of way. There needs to be more done about people like this.

"He couldn't deal with the fact I was leaving him so he had to get cheap shots in."

She replied to him: "Ouch. You've just made this decision a whole lot easier. Dress it up or down, that reads 'I don't have sex with you or put effort into having sex with you because you're too fat'."

Niaomi says they had met on Tinder and had been toying with the idea of ending the relationship for a while because of their sex life and how he made her feel 'high maintenance for asking for the bare minimum'.

Niaomi said: "He said dates were going to be an issue because he was injured and wasn't working but it became obvious that dates were never going to happen.

"I just wanted to go to the cinema and he said he was happy at home and if I wanted more I was too expensive for him.

"I've got confidence and anxiety issues so he's the first person I've dumped because it was that bad I just had to.

"It was so lazy, there was no effort from him, if I didn't initiate sex, it wouldn't happen.

They broke up over text - and Niaomi shared the heated exchange online (Getty Images/Westend61)

"Don't get me wrong I'm a pillow princess, not through laziness but it takes me time.

"I realised I was doing everything for him but what was he doing for me? I was putting all the work in."

Niaomi shared screenshots of her conversation with her ex-partner on social media where horrified users rushed to share their dismay.

Niaomi said: "The comments really stuck out for me. People were saying they're read some awful things online and this is one of the worst things they'd read.

"The way it's laced with 'darling you know I think you're beautiful'. He's so sneaky and slimy.

"It's outrageous. People could think he's been nice and calling me beautiful but it's bullsh*t and he knows exactly what he's doing.

"People like that need help. You can't as an adult go through life thinking 'I am what I am, take me as I am'.

"You need to work on yourself and try every day to be the best you can be rather than blaming things on everyone else and being a t****r.

"You need to think of the implications it has on the people you're lashing out at. I'm a magnet for people like him because I'm so open and wear my heart on my sleeve."

One commenter wrote: "You're stunning and he clearly just doesn't know what to do in bedroom department and is trying to put that on you.

"He's clearly tapped and you're better off without him girl."

Another said: "Ahh yes the biomechanics are incredibly complex when you don't have two brain cells to rub together.

"What a tool, actually not even a tool at least a screwdriver knows how to screw. You're beautiful he's clearly just an idiot."

A third added: "Just say you're sh*t in bed and save us the agro. You are stunning. God help the woman who ends up lumbered with this scummy f**k."

Do you have a story to share? Please get in touch at webfeatures@trinitymirror.com

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