Glass raised and with his nearest and dearest by his side, stricken Dan Tuckley has one last night out before ending his life at an assisted dying clinic.
Two days later, dressed in his favourite suit, he administered a lethal dose as Frank Sinatra’s My Way played in the background.
It was Dan’s way of leaving this world as cancer tightened its grip, leaving him barely able to eat or drink.
His family backed him – but say he should have been able to end his life in Britain, where assisted dying is illegal.
And as they share details of his farewell, they call on the Government to think again about a change in UK laws.
Dan, 46, forked out more than £20,000 in a cloak-and-dagger mission that ended in a white-walled clinic outside Basel, Switzerland.
In a final letter, he wrote: “ Weather is lovely here, not like back home – but hey, you don’t come for the weather.”
Among those at his bedside was Sarah, his partner of almost 20 years and wife for 10.
Sarah, 45, said: “Dan should not have had to spend his last few days with so much stress and fear. If he were allowed an assisted death at home, he would have been able to say goodbye to all the people he loved. He should have been allowed to die in his own country, on his own terms.”
Police later visited Sarah at her home in Derby to say they would not pursue Dan’s death – sparing the family a prolonged investigation.
Office manager Dan was diagnosed with Renal Medullary Carcinoma – a rare kidney cancer – last August. It spread quickly and his life expectancy shrank from one year to just weeks.
His sister, Kate, 38, said he chose assisted dying after becoming unable to eat or drink without vomiting.
Dan gathered his younger siblings at home and told them he wanted to die.
Kate said: “Our dad died in a hospice from a brain tumour. I think that really stuck with Dan, the image of Dad in a vegetative state, unable to speak.
“This wasn’t up for discussion. He had made the decision and he wanted to ‘go out on his feet’ – and he wanted us and his wife to accompany him. We all said yes without hesitation. It would mean that he would kill cancer, and cancer would not kill him. Seeing someone you love that ill is awful.
“It would be such an amazing legacy if it means that other families don’t have to go through what we’ve had to.”
But Dan kept his decision secret from others – including mum Dawn, 75, who has a dementia diagnosis – as he feared being caught by police.
Assisted dying is illegal under the 1961 Suicide Act and is punishable by up to 14 years’ jail – even if the procedure is carried out abroad.
Dan booked a £9,000 appointment at the Pegasos clinic.
Fearing detection at a commercial airport, Dan paid £12,000 to charter a private jet for him, Sarah and his siblings. They arrived on September 20 and stayed at a hotel in Basel. At their meal, Dan ordered a chicken dish and red wine, which he could only swill – unable to swallow as his tumour would cause him to vomit.
The next day Dan and his loved ones shared tender moments at the clinic. One poignant picture shows him and Kate smiling together. A day later, the five were united for Dan’s final moments.
Kate recalled: “The doctor added the treatment to the drip and Dan pushed the button administering it.”
Dan was cremated in Switzerland and his ashes were sent to the UK.
Assisted dying is legal in certain circumstances in Switzerland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and some US states.
On Tuesday an inquiry into assisted dying will open in Parliament.
Trevor Moore, chair of charity My Death My Decision, said: “It is outrageous Dan and his family had to flee the country to end his suffering and for Dan to die on his own terms. The Health and Social Care Select Committee must surely listen to those enduring avoidable suffering due to our blanket ban on assisted dying.”
During a debate last year, a majority of MPs supported a change to the law.
But opponents urged a “pro-life” view and said legalising assisted dying “would be a deeply damaging change”.
The Archbishop of Canterbury previously urged caution over an assisted dying bill proposed in the House of Lords. He said: “The sad truth is that not all people are perfect. No amount of regulation can make a relative kinder or a doctor infallible.”
* The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. Call free on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your local branch.
