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Manchester Evening News
Manchester Evening News
National
Neil Shaw & Ramazani Mwamba

Family give mum a day of 'freedom' before telling her devastating diagnosis

A woman who was diagnosed with depression that turned out to be Alzheimer's was given a day of "freedom" before being told about her diagnosis by her family. Doctors originally blamed the short temper, weight loss and memory loss that Linda Sutherland was suffering on the death of her husband Ronnie who sadly died at 66.

However, her son Graeme Sutherland, 31, realised that it was more than depression. Graeme first noticed that something was wrong when he took his mother to the Harry Potter studios for her birthday and she became irate when she couldn't take a photo.

READ MORE: Mum wakes up screaming after seeing son's lifeless body on the floor

He took her to the doctors after the trip where she was diagnosed with a progressive stage of Alzheimer’s. Devastated about the news, Graeme and his sister Kirstin, 31, were confused and unsure what to do next.

Kirstin, who is a nurse, decided to give their mother one last day of "freedom" before they told her about her diagnosis. Graeme, a claims manager, said: "My mum had been receiving counselling for depression but nothing was getting better - it was getting worse.

"I took her to London for her birthday. I knew something wasn't right. She was wearing dirty clothes, she had lost a lot of weight and she was getting upset easily. It was a shock when we were told she had Alzheimer's, especially after we got told she hadn't got it to begin with."

WalesOnline reports how on the family trip to London in 2016, he noticed his mother spraying deodorant in her shoes, wearing unclean clothes, and she could not understand how to press a button when on a trip to the Harry Potter Studios. After the trip, he took his mother to the doctors, and she was diagnosed with a progressive stage of Alzheimer’s. Graeme's sister, Kirsten, phoned up to try to book an appointment to find out their mum's results.

An appointment would be two months away, so Kirsten asked if she could find out about the results as the next of kin. Kirsten broke the news - a day after they found out, to give Linda one last day of "freedom". Graeme said: "Kirstin wanted to give her one last day of being carefree.

The brother and sister gave her mum one final day of "freedom" (WalesOnline)

"I think my mum knew. She was upset about it but straight away very cooperative and helped us see what support is out there. The way my mum reacted she knew something wasn't right - this was the final confirmation."

Graeme and his sister, started taking turns caring for their mum, with one of them being by her side 24 hours a day. He said: "It was very challenging. It made us grow up very quickly. It has made me realise that life is way too short. it has drained me and my sister quite a bit both physically and mentally.

"We were in our early 20s at the time. We lost a large sum of our life but I wouldn't change it for the world."

Dementia is a significant cause of disability in people aged over 60, according to Alzheimer Scotland. Linda has been in a care home for around a year. Graeme said is was "selfish" to keep their mum at home for so long. Graeme said: "It is difficult to watch someone so ill every time you visit - it is the long goodbye.

"I know I have a parent, but she is no longer there. I go to see her between two and three times a week. There is someone with her every single day. She is fine being alone, but you can't help but feel guilty.

"On reflection, it was more of a selfish point of view that we didn't want my mum to go into a care home - it is better for her to be in a home. I think her condition got a lot worse during the pandemic. I saw a rapid decline in her. She is now losing her speech. She speaks like the characters from the Sims game - making words and noises that don't make sense."

Graeme said it isn't all "doom and gloom" and that his mum is living life "blissfully unaware" of what is going on. He said: "We do have good times. She is getting worse but she is very happy - she just sits and watches TV, sings away and gets involved with activities."

Graeme is an Alzheimer Scotland social ambassador and is trying to raise awareness on his TikTok @graemefs. He said: "Alzheimer's always falls under the radar as an old persons disease but it is really common now. It is getting younger and younger with Bruce Willis being diagnosed it is coming into the mainstream.

"Sadly, it is just something that not many people know about, I want to educate people on the different stages."

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