Is there a sweeter schadenfreude than observing the baying hordes at Terminal 5 from a safe distance? Frankly, it’s more restorative than a holiday. Since the Easter break began, I have been recharging on tales of flights rescheduled, horror stories about lairy seatmates and photos of baggage reclaim at Stansted. Airlines have been cancelling up to 100 flights a day, passengers are apoplectic and yesterday, a timely poll found that Heathrow is the most stressful airport in Europe. To which I say: plug it into my veins.
Guys, why bother? Sure, you’ll get to Crete by plane — but you’ll spend the whole week there having acid flashbacks to the mosh pit outside the Jamie’s Italian at Gatwick and knowing that to get home, you’ll endure the same indignities — but it’ll be hotter and stickier inside the terminal.
