Devastated York City Knights star Danny Kirmond admits playing rugby league's helped him “escape” the trauma of his younger brother’s tragic death.
The ex- England international, 36, kicks off his club’s Championship play-offs campaign at Halifax on Sunday. He bravely played on, just days after Jack Kirmond, 33, was killed following an assault outside Sharlston Rovers ARLFC last month. Former Wakefield captain Kirmond explained: “I felt like I was in a massive goldfish bowl.
“Obviously, it was absolutely devastating to myself, all my family. Jack wasn’t just my brother: he was my best mate, my best man at my wedding, literally at my house every other day, spending time with my little girl. And living in the village (Sharlston), everyone knows everybody, wants to know everyone’s business and we obviously own the pub there so there was just no escape from it. I just wanted a bit of normality. And rugby league’s something that’s always brought me that.”
York promised Kirmond they’d be “normal” with him and he said: “That’s exactly how it went. They’ve been great. I wanted to play and the club did a minute’s applause for my brother so I wanted to be involved. In a selfish way it was an escape from everything. We played Bradford on the Monday. It’d only been a few days since we’d said ‘bye’ to my brother.
“It was just refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, people were really nice but at the same time still wanted to take my head off and run over the top of me! But it was a break from everyone - and this might come across wrong - saying ‘I’m sorry about your loss.’ My brother would have wanted me to play. He loved watching me and loved playing himself.
“I’m a firm believer sport’s really good for mental health. I did feel really bogged down in the house and in the village and rugby game me the chance to get away from that."
Kirmond admits it’d be “brilliant” for York to cause an upset in the play-offs and recent events have left the veteran second-row thinking he might play on again in 2023. He added: “For such a tragic and shocking thing to happen…it’s really overwhelming. M y brother was quite insular really. He was loud and the life and soul of the party but the person he really was was pretty quiet. He struggled mentally a little bit when he came out of the Army but he’d just got his life on track: he’d got his house and his life with his fiancee and everything was going in the right direction for him.
"The reaction of everyone else to it has been overwhelming to ourselves as a family but I think it’d have been overwhelming to him as well, like the attendance at his funeral. It was pretty much a military funeral which was nice. But what’s given my mum a lot of comfort is - because he was an organ donor - Jack’s heart, his kidneys, his liver have all gone on to someone else. The team at Leeds General Infirmary and the donor team were really amazing."
The former Super League favourite added: "He was just a really lovely guy. And I just miss him. The rugby has been a comfort as you’re never on your own. And I’ve two little kids at home so I don’t have much time to really think about it. If I’m driving to training, that’s the time I’d ring him or he’d ring me.
"It’s the little things. If it teaches you anything it’s take that time with your loved ones and tell them how you feel. Even now sitting in my living room I expect his face to pop up at the window and he’d shout something to me! It doesn’t seem real.”
Kirmond, who turns 37 in November and also represented Featherstone and Huddersfield, continued: "It’s taught me a lot over the last month. I treasure every minute I’ve got: my kids make me smile in the most difficult of circumstances and I'm determined to just do what I enjoy.
"Luckily for me I've got something pretty big in terms of rugby which I do enjoy. I've had conversations with people for the last five years saying I might hang my boots up this year! But if you’ve got something you enjoy you just go out there and do it and for as long as you can. That’s probably leading me down the merry path into another season of playing...!
"I've really enjoyed being at York these last couple of years. To get to the play-offs after what was a frustrating season last year, is reward for the hard work so many people have put in. It's a great club. It’s a massive game against Halifax and gives us an opportunity to chase one of those big teams down and hopefully take a few more scalps on the way."
