Q. My ex feels he no longer has to coordinate anything with me because we are no longer together. He tells me our son is old enough to arrange things between the two of us. Jesse is 10 years old and is overwhelmed with trying to be our go-between. He cries when it’s time to go to his dad’s because he hates being in the middle. What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. Most of the time when I tell parents they are making their children into their messengers — and that this is not regarded as a positive observation — they deny they are doing it. They tell me they never say a bad thing about the other parent.
I honestly believe most have no idea how much pressure these three little words put on their children: “Tell your mother (or father).” If they do, it’s about the most cowardly thing a parent can do.
