Q. My son is 8 and his father and I have been separated for nine months. Yesterday I had a student-teacher conference and the teacher suggested we get him tested for ADHD. This is all new to me. I never saw signs of distraction before, but as he gets older, he is definitely more disorganized. Am I just imagining it or could it be a reaction to his dad moving out? I don’t want to ignore an obvious problem, but I also don’t want to medicate a child who doesn’t really need it. What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. First, even if it is truly a diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, that doesn’t necessarily mean he must be medicated. Medicating a child is a decision to be made along with dad and your son’s pediatrician based on the severity of the symptoms your son is displaying. That’s the medical aspect of your question.
The good ex-etiquette aspect of your question requires you and dad to seriously take a look at how you are approaching your parenting plan, exchanges and problem-solving.
