That’s it from me. The Premier League table doesn’t look very different, but it will feel a lot better now for Frank Lampard, and even worse for Roy Hodgson. Thanks for your company, your correspondence and your deep-seated Evertonian angst.
Next up is Norwich v Man City, with Pep Guardiola keeping a fair amount of his powder dry for the trip to Lisbon on Tuesday. Do join Scott Murray for the details.
Championship results
A big moment for Barnsley.
- Barnsley 1-0 QPR
- Birmingham 3-0 Luton
- Blackpool 1-2 Bournemouth
- Hull 0-1 Fulham
- Middlesbrough 4-1 Derby
- Millwall 2-1 Cardiff
- Forest 2-2 Stoke
- Peterborough 0-1 Preston
- Reading 2-3 Coventry
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Full time: Brentford 0-0 Palace
A total bore, by all accounts, but a vital point for Brentford after five defeats in a row.
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Full time: Everton 3-0 Leeds
Bielsa’s wacky subs don’t do the business; Lampard’s attacking line-up does.
Forest have drawn level! Ryan Yates scores for ten-man Forest against Stoke and it’s now 2-2. All down to James Garner, apparently. Man United do have the midfielders, they just prefer to loan them out.
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Full time: Watford 0-2 Brighton
All over at Vicarage Road, and no joy for Roy.
Not so funny for the Forest fans. The ref gave a penalty as well as a red card, so AN Outfield Player had his work cut out the minute he went in goal. Forest 1-2 Stoke.
Some last-minute comedy at Forest. Brice Samba has been sent off and Steve Cooper has used all his subs, so I really hope he can be heard saying, “Hands up who’s ever played in goal before.”
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Everton are doing so well that even their own fans think it’s in the bag. “Done and dusted,” yells Mary Waltz. “Massive exhale.”
GOAL! Watford 0-2 Brighton (Webster 82)
Brighton have been much the better side at Vicarage Road and now they have the scoreline to show it. A corner leads to a melee and Adam Webster pokes the ball home.
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There’s a pattern already to Frank Lampard’s Everton: they’re very good on Saturdays. After battering Brentford this time last week, they’re now three up against Leeds. And although they lost at St James’ Park in between, they have eight goals under Frank.
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“I’ve been watching Real Madrid’s visit to El Madrigal,” says Kári Tulinius, “and they’re so blunt in attack. Bale is okay, though he missed one good chance and the Villareal keeper pushed away his shot from the edge of the box, but Vinicius and Asensio have no idea how to play without Benzema up front, the quintessential player whose quality is most apparent when missing. Villarreal have been good, Chukwueze especially tearing through the defence on the right. It remains 0-0.”
GOAL! Everton 3-0 Leeds (Richarlison 78)
That settles it, surely.
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Selected highlights from the Championship. Barnsley, who never take the lead, have done just that against QPR. Coventry are 3-2 up at Reading, Derby still 3-1 down at Boro, Birmingham 3-0 up against Luton.
Brentford 0-0 Palace: Whisper it, but there appears to have been some action here. A header from close range by Brentford’s Jansson, a strong save by Palace’s Guaita, and at last, a reason for this game to take up more than two minutes on Match Of The Day,
Watford 0-1 Brighton: Ben Foster keeps his team in it with a fine save from a fine shot by Marc Cucurella. At the other end, though, Watford haven’t had a shot on target.
Bayern get battered!
James Alexander Gordon, thou shouldst be living at this hour. “Vfl Bochum 1948 [dramatic pause] 4, Bayern Munich [even more dramatic pause] 2.”
It’s high time we heard more from Mary Waltz, and here she is. “Tell me Donnie VDB isn’t winning the heart of every Scouser at Goodison,” she says, “running down every ball with cotton stuffed up his nose to stop the bleeding.”
Watford 0-1 Brighton: Watford have been getting better and now they come close as Emmanuel Dennis hits the bar.
You may be wondering what’s happening at Brentford. Nothing, alas: it’s still 0-0. But at least Josh Dasilva is coming on.
Poor old Kelty Hearts are now 3-0 down at St Mirren. And to add insult to insult, I called them Kelpy Hearts just now (thanks to Pickles for pointing this out). Can I blame The Guardian’s spellcheck?
Your name is Marcelo Bielsa and your team is 2-0 down to a close rival. What do you do at half-time? Bring off your best player, obviously!
Raphinha gives way to Tyler Roberts, and Mateusz Klich is off too, replaced by Adam Forshaw. And it seems to be working – Leeds are now getting more of the ball.
What’s the German for “the comeback is on, lads”? Robert Lewandowski scores his second for Bayern, so it’s now only 4-2 to Bochum.
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A good spot from Opta Joe. “With @michaelkeane04 scoring for @Everton and twin brother Will scoring for @LaticsOfficial, today is the first time that both have scored in English league football on the same day. Telepathy.”
A Derby fan writes. “Yes, our fighting spirit is going to be tested this afternoon,” says Charlie Robinson, “but we’ve shown plenty of it so far this season. I’ll just be thrilled to have a club to support at all next season, whether that be in the Championship or League One. The half time score might not be too promising, but yesterday’s news about Mel Morris and Steve Gibson striking a deal gives us a lot of optimism going forward. And Reading conceding an equaliser just before half time ain’t too bad either.” Small mercies.
The three PL games have resumed and there’s been something for Watford fans to cheer: Ismaila Sarr has come on.
Bayern are still 4-1 down
After 70 minutes, Vfl Bochum 1948 are still 4-1 up against the mighty Bayern. According to ESPN, it’s the first time Bayern have let in four by half-time in the Bundesliga since November, 1975, when they trooped off 5-0 down to Eintracht Frankfurt. (That one ended 6-0.) And today, Bayern were 1-0 up!
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Half-times in the Scottish Cup, thanks to the tireless Simon McMahon. It seems two Hearts are no better than one.
- Hearts 0-0 Livingston
- Motherwell 2-1 Aberdeen
- Partick Thistle 0-0 Dundee United
- St Mirren 1-0 Kelty Hearts
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That 2-0 lead is not necessarily what Everton fans want to see. “Dave Hagan might be going back to ‘92 for examples of Everton throwing away two goal leads late,” says Robin Cannon, “but it’s not like we didn’t go from 2-0 to 2-2 in injury time against Newcastle, under Ancelotti, far more recently.” Is this an example of competitive worrying?
Championship half-times
Derby’s fighting spirit is going to be sorely tested.
- Barnsley 0-0 QPR
- Birmingham 1-0 Luton
- Blackpool 1-0 Bournemouth
- Hull 0-0 Fulham
- Middlesbrough 3-1 Derby
- Millwall 0-0 Cardiff
- Forest 0-0 Stoke
- Peterborough 0-0 Preston
- Reading 1-1 Coventry
PL half-times: Everton top of the class
It’s half-time in our three Premier League games.
- Brentford 0-0 Palace
- Everton 2-0 Leeds
- Watford 0-1 Brighton
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“Never mind Lampard,” says Zach Neeley, “(who I think was in over his head at Chelsea but not that bad), the real secret to Everton’s fresh energy and excitement is Not-Rafa.” You may well be right.
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In the Championship, Boro have regained the lead. Aaron Connolly makes it Middlesbrough 2-1 Derby.
GOAL! Watford 0-1 Brighton (Maupay 44)
A screamer from Neal Maupay, set up by Tariq Lamptey.
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A few other goals in the Championship. Birmingham, Blackpool and Reading are all 1-0 up at home, against Luton, Bournemouth and Coventry respectively. Bournemouth, what’s more, had a penalty missed by Dominic Solanke.
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Never mind Lampard, what about Rooney? His Derby team are nothing if not fighters, and they’ve now drawn level at the Riverside with a volley from Max Bird.
Everybody’s talking about Mary. “I love Mary Waltz’s comments,” says David Hagan, “but you can tell she hasn’t been an Evertonian for long if she feels relaxed with a 2-0 lead. I remember watching us against Oldham at Goodison in, I think, ’92, 2-0 up with three minutes to go and ended up drawing…”
Bayern are 4-1 down!
Here’s Richard Harris again, with big news from the Bundesliga. “Runaway leaders Bayern are being thrashed 4-1 away by lowly Bochum at half-time,” he reports. “With City due to play at Norwich later could be see an incredible double?” We can but hope.
He adds: “I didn’t know Mary ‘my squad’ Waltz had been called in by Lampard but I guess it makes sense.”
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Everton 2-0 Leeds: Everton have had five shots on target already, to Leeds’ none, although they’ve only had 45pc of the possession. Has Lampard brought them some efficiency?
Brentford 0-0 Palace: if you were surprised to see Jordan Ayew get a game today, so was I, and maybe he was too. He’s just greeted a big chance with a bad miss.
“I don’t know what to do,” wails Mary Waltz. “I am watching an Everton fixture and the regular feelings of dread are not there. This is fun.”
Say what you like about Frank Lampard – and I’ve saved one correspondent from what would now be some deep blushes – he has bucked a trend today. Everton under Benitez were awful at facing their fellow strugglers: they had lost their last nine games against teams outside the Big Six. Of course, Leeds being Leeds, and Everton being Everton, they could still extend that run today. But it doesn’t seem very likely.
The quote of the day so far comes from Ralph Hasenhuttl, talking about Manchester United. “It is not a big secret,” he says, “that when they lose the ball, the reverse gears are not the best from everybody.” A case of Ralph’s inhumanity to Ralf.
GOAL!! Everton 2-0 Leeds (Keane 23)
And another! It’s a second header as Michael Keane finds himself unmarked at a set piece.
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A goal in the Championship: Middlesbrough, in such good form lately, take the lead through an own goal from Derby’s Lee Buchanan.
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No penalty!
Brentford 0-0 Palace: It’s a free kick to Palace instead, as Guehi’s handball was preceded, and perhaps prompted, by a shove from Norgaard.
PENALTY to Brentford?
Sounds like a soft one, and the VAR is taking a look....
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Watford 0-0 Brighton: A worry for Brighton, in fact two, as Robert Sanchez and Lewis Dunk collide with each other. Sanchez was punching the ball, but seems to have taken out his team-mate too. They’re well enough to continue.
The goal was set up by, you’ve guessed it, Donny van de Beek, though he won’t get an assist as his cross led to a shot from Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Coleman was there to follow up with a diving header.
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Leeds (Coleman 10)
Everton’s dominance pays off as Seamus Coleman heads home from close range.
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Everton 0-0 Leeds: One thing both these teams could do without is another injury, and Leeds have one: Stuart Dallas goes off with a wounded knee. Leo Hjelde replaces him.
Everton 0-0 Leeds: Another chance for Everton, and it’s Anthony Gordon again – from a distance this time, still nothing doing.
If it’s Saturday, it must be Mary Waltz. “The opening siren call of the Z-Cars theme,” she says, “has a different feel now that my Everton squad is facing relegation.”
Everton 0-0 Leeds: An early chance for Everton, but Anthony Gordon can only manage a tame finish after being teed up by – who else – Donny van de Beek.
The three games in the Premier League are just getting under way. And so are nine more in the Championship, including Hull-Fulham, Middlesbrough-Deeby and Forest-Stoke.
“Where is Eriksen?” asks Jazi Zilber. “Don’t we deserve at least some gossip to compensate for his no show?” Ha. He was never going to be involved today, though he has been seeing waving to the Brentford crowd. And we do know he has made a speech to his new colleagues, saying “Don’t go easy on me.” The anti-Adele.
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“Disunited,” says Richard Harris. “I think I would say Man United drew a game they should have lost today so it is a point gained not two points dropped. Southampton were excellent and it is disrespectful of people to make out United should have beaten them. Saints have held City twice this season, don’t forget, and beaten West Ham and Spurs away. More intriguing is the idea that Hasenhuttl could be the guy United go for in the summer.” True! A game of two Ralves.
One tweet brings another. “Afternoon, @TimdeLisle,” says Bill Hargreaves. “Thanks in advance for enthralling commentary. Still plenty to play for in the PL.” Bill, I’m honoured by your first point, but more inclined to agree with your second.
And here is the news from our Scots correspondent, Simon McMahon. “It’s the (consults official UEFA modern football jargon directory) round of 16 in the Scottish Cup this weekend, with four 3 o’clock kick offs today, the pick of which is two-time cup winners Dundee United’s trip to Partick Thistle. Hearts welcome Livingston and Aberdeen go to Motherwell in the two all SPL ties, while Kelty Hearts, of Scottish League Two, who knocked out the holders St. Johnstone in the previous round, travel to Paisley to take on St. Mirren.” Go Kelty.
A tweet! “It’s going to be 5-5 at Goodison isn’t it @TimdeLisle?” says Gary Naylor. “Frank is the anti-Rafa picking that XI. It’ll be great - if it works.” Ha, it will. Not sure Frank brings all that much experience of relegation scraps.
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United blow it again
For the third game running, Manchester United dominate early on ... and finish 1-1.
Teams: Brentford-Palace
No Ivan Toney, sadly. Again, there’s a lot of talent on the bench: Josh Dasilva for Brentford, Ebereche Eze and Michael Olise for Palace.
Brentford Raya; Ajer, Jansson, Pinnock; Canos, Norgaard, Janelt, Jensen, Henry; Mbeumo, Wissa.
Subs: Fernández, Lössl, Roerslev, Ghoddos, Onyeka, Baptiste, Stevens, Dasilva, Sorensen.
Crystal Palace Guaita; Ward, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell; Gallagher, Hughes, Schlupp; Ayew, Edouard, Zaha.
Subs: Butland, Tomkins, Clyne, McArthur, Milivojevic, Mateta, Olise, Eze, Benteke.
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Teams: Watford-Brighton
Has Roy Hodgson already settled on an XI he can trust? He names an unchanged team. The best player on either side may well be on the bench: Sarr returning for Watford, Bissouma getting a breather for Brighton.
Watford Foster; Femenia, Cathcart, Samir, Kamara; Kucka, Sissoko, Cleverley, Kayembe; King, Dennis.
Subs: Ngakia, Bachmann, Semas, Masina, Louza, Kabasele, Pedro, Hernandez, Sarr.
Brighton Sanchez; Veltman, Dunk, Webster; Lamptey, Gross, Lallana, Cucurella; Moder; Maupay, Welbeck.
Subs from Steele, Alzate, Duffy, Ferguson, Bissouma, March, Mac Allister, Trossard, Caicedo.
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Teams: Everton-Leeds
A big moment for the Donny van de Beek Fan Club.
Everton Pickford; Coleman, Holgate, Keane, Kenny; Gordon, Allan, van de Beek, Iwobi; Richarlison, Calvert-Lewin.
Subs: Begovic, Patterson, Branthwaite, El Ghazi, Dele, Gomez, Townsend, Tosun, Rondon.
Leeds Meslier; Ayling, Llorente, Struijk, Dallas; Koch, Klich; Raphinha, Rodrigo, Harrison; James.
Subs: Forshaw, Bate, Klaesson, Roberts, Bate, Shackleton, Kenneh, Gelhardt, Hjelde, Summerville.
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Preamble
Once upon a time, Everton v Leeds was a clash of the titans. In 1969-70 Don Revie’s Leeds started the season as league champions and finished it by coming a distant second to Everton. These days, it’s 15th v 16th, with both clubs looking anxiously over their shoulders. In the recent-form table (last three games), the apple cart has been thoroughly upset: Norwich are second in the Premier League and Newcastle fourth, both level on points with Man City. Leeds are a solid ninth, while Everton are an alarming 19th.
The new-manager bounce was there for all to see last Saturday as they greeted Frank Lampard by battering Brentford in the cup. But by Tuesday, when they went to St James’s Park, it had already gone missing. And now they entertain Leeds, who, as my colleague Paul Doyle points out here, have knocked in six goals in their past two away games. Hell, they’ve even got Dan James scoring. They are so much fun to watch, though the Goodison faithful may not see it that way.
The desperate need to stay up will be coasting its shadow on the other 3pm games. Roy Hodgson’s Watford, deep in trouble, will have to show off their new-found defensive organisation against Brighton, who are sitting pretty in mid-table and would be even higher if they remembered that the point of stringing passes together is to end up with a goal.
Never mind 15th v 16th, we’ve also got 13th v 14th as Crystal Palace go round the South Circular to the Brentford Community Stadium. Both sides have had a good spell this season – Brentford flying at the start, Palace respectable before Christmas – but they’re now getting sucked into the mire. Brentford have lost their last five in the league while Palace are winless in four. It could get gritty.
See you soon with the team news. In the meantime, do join Scott Murray for the remainder of a riveting encounter at Old Trafford.
