Right, that’s it from me. What a night. Thanks for all your many emails and tweets. Be sure to stick around on site for all the reports and reaction, but from me, cheerio!
And here’s Ellen White: “Incredible, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s just crazy.”
A few words from Sarina Wiegman: “It was a very special night, we didn’t expect such a big win. But we played really well, we really exploited their weaknesses. It was very enjoyable to watch!”
Suzanne Wrack's match report
Suzanne Wrack was at the Amex Stadium for us. Here’s her report of a historic England performance:
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Here’s Beth Mead talking to the BBC: “I can’t put it into words. I’m really enjoying my football, it’s an incredible feeling to feel how I do right now. I don’t think I’ve even ever dreamed of this.”
“The girls need to enjoy this one. These are the moments we need to enjoy.”
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Wiegman has England in a huddle out on the Amex pitch, probably one of the easier post-match debriefs she’s had to deliver. That result – that barely believable result – means England will top Group A and play the runners-up from Group B in the quarter-finals back here in Brighton, back at the scene of this wild night.
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Full-time: England 8-0 Norway
Peep! PEEP!! PEEEP!!! The referee puts Norway out of their misery and brings an end to one of the all-time great major tournament performances from an England team. It was a simply stunning performance from Sarina Wiegman’s side against the former champions, who were blown away by the brilliant Beth Mead and co.
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90 min: It really should be emphasised that this Norway team – littered with players from Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United, Barcelona, Lyon, PSG and Arsenal – expected, and maybe still expect, to go deep into the competition. They have three minutes of injury-time to survive and cling on to this eight-goal deficit. It really has been a remarkable England performance.
89 min: Russo again bundles her way past a static and panicked Norway defence. Her pull-back just evades Mead in the middle.
88 min: … and Greenwood pings her left-footed effort from the free-kick a couple of yards high and wide.
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87 min: Toone is bundled over by Maanum on the edge of the box …
86 min: Despite being far less spectacular, this second half from England has been nearly as impressive as the first. They’ve remained in complete control and walked a couple more goals in despite not really getting out of first gear. It’s been one-way traffic.
84 min: Maanum launches one at goal from long range and it fizzes just over Earps’s bar.
83 min: Toone turns the ball over the bar from close range after Russo powers her way past a Norwegian defender and squares it. It bobbled, to be fair, but that could, and perhaps should, have been nine.
GOAL! England 8-0 Norway (Mead 81)
Eight? Eight! And Beth Mead has her hat-trick! Since being introduced Greenwood has played like someone who fancies a starting role at left-back. She surges into the box and cuts back to Walsh, whose fizzing shot is well blocked by Pettersen. But as the ball breaks loose, Mead is quickest to react and taps home for her third and England’s eighth. Eighth!
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80 min: A huge ovation for Jill Scott, who comes on to replace the outstanding Stanway.
79 min: England are in pre-season friendly mode now, knocking the ball around confidently though without much in the way of thrust.
76 min: Bizet’s first contribution is to get booked for barging into Williamson.
74 min: The subs have got England ticking again. Greenwood crashes an effort against the bar from the the edge of the box. Norway, meanwhile, bring on Bizet and Eikeland for Hegerberg and Graham Hansen.
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72 min: So nearly eight. Brilliant work from Greenwood and Kelly down the England left. Kelly pulls back to Russo, whose shot is blocked, and Mead can’t turn home the rebound.
71 min: More excellent work from Bronze on the right, who cuts inside and lays off to Toone, who’s effort from the edge of the box is weak.
70 min: Another England substitute: Chloe Kelly replaces the excellent Lauren Hemp for the final 20 minutes.
68 min: As Three Lions echoes – slightly tentatively – around the Amex, Bronze again sends a cross into the box and Toone has Pettersen scrambling with a header.
GOAL! England 7-0 Norway (Russo 66)
Seven up! England work the ball out to Bronze on the right. Her lofted cross loops into the box and the England substitute Russo just wants it more than the Norwegian defenders around her, nodding calmly-as-you-like past Pettersen.
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65 min: Toone skitters into the area but ends up crowded out.
63 min: Stanway looks to grab attention back with a decent drilled effort from distance that zips well wide.
62 min: The pace has certainly dropped – think screaming-through-the-sky- strapped-to-a-jet-pack to nice-cup-of-tea-and-a-sit-down – but England still look the more likely. Indeed, the pace has dropped so much that a wave has started to peel around the Amex.
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60 min: Toone dinks a ball into the box but it bounces just in front of the onrushing Mead.
59 min: Norway also ring the changes: Maanum on, Bøe Risa off.
57 min: Sarina Wiegman turns to her bench, as well she might. White off, Russo on. Daly off, Greenwood on. Kirby off, Toone on.
56 min: Mead slings in the resultant free-kick and White gets on the end of it, guiding her header wide.
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55 min: Mead is dragged down by Blakstad, who becomes the first player to go into the book.
54 min: Graham Hansen, who has barely touched the ball, shimmies forward but can’t find a teammate with her pass.
51 min: Mead has her eyes on a hat-trick, but her volley from Hemp’s cross (via a Pettersen flap) is sliced wide.
Photograph: Nigel Keene/ProSports/Shutterstock
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50 min: … the free-kick is a poor one and Norway head clear.
49 min: As you’d expect, the intensity does seem to have dropped off a touch. Blakstad tries to get things going by shoving Mead in the back on the right edge of the Norway box …
47 min: It looks like Norway have shifted to a back three, or back five perhaps more accurately.
46 min: England pick up where they left off, Hemp just unable to gather another cracking cross into the box.
Peep! Off we go again. Norway, for whom escaping with a 6-0 defeat would be something of a positive at this point, have replaced the right winger Sævik and brought on centre-back Guro Bergsvand.
Former Liverpool full-back and Norway men’s international John Arne Riise isn’t happy on the Beeb: “It’s embarrassing, it’s pathetic, it’s unbelievable. It’s shocking how bad they’ve been.”
England are, quite understandably, all smiles as they head down the tunnel. And no wonder. History made already:
6 - In one half, England have equalled the most goals ever scored by a team in a full game in UEFA Women's Euros history (Germany 6-2 v England in 2009 and England 6-0 v Scotland in 2017). Floodgates. pic.twitter.com/R2L5xCEcnn
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) July 11, 2022
Half-time: England 6-0 Norway
Peep! PEEEEP!! So, um, quite a satisfactory half for England that.
45+1 min: “Getting Germany 1-7 Brazil vibes from this game,” writes Mark Harrison. “That was the last time I saw a supposedly very good side collectively turn to jelly like this. The best compliment I can give England is that they’ve been as ruthless as Germany were that day, even if they did get some major help from the referee for the first.”
45 min: Reiten looks to slip in Hegerberg but she can’t bring the ball under her spell.
44 min: It should be seven! Bronze to Mead on the right touchline and again – again! – she has a ludicrous amount of room. It’s mind-bogglingly disorganised from Norway. Anyway, this time Mead’s terrific cross just evades White at the far post.
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42 min: The Amex now has that base level buzz of a crowd witnessing something special and expecting more, more, more.
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GOAL! England 6-0 Norway (White 41)
Bronze to Stanway. Stanway to Kirby. Kirby across to White. Six-nil. Completely and utterly astonishing.
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GOAL! England 5-0 Norway (Mead 38)
I mean, this is getting a bit ridiculous. Mead – who, make no mistake, has been absolutely sensational in this first half – is again given acres of room on the right of the box. She cuts inside Blalstad, cuts inside again, then rolls her shot past Pettersen. It’s five!
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36 min: That goal was bordering on bizarre from a defensive perspective. Utterly shambolic from Norway but England have been ruthless in taking advantage of their opponents’ generosity.
GOAL! England 4-0 Norway (Mead 35)
Crikey. England have four, and again it’s so, so easy for them. Bronze and Mead have both been exceptional thus far and the former starts this move, the latter finishes it. White chases down the right-back’s long pass and lays of to Hemp, who clips the ball into the six-yard box where Mead is unchallenged and heads home.
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32 min: … which comes to nought.
“I’ve just done a quick calculation,” begins Prof Adrian Goldman. “A million games a day for a million years is 3.65 x10^13, or 3.65 trillion, games. I rather doubt that that many games of football have yet been played as the first football clubs are about 200 years old. So I think we can conclude that if a million games were played a day for a million years that penalty would be given. As it has already been given. (Science to the rescue).”
31 min: Excellent save from Pettersen as the ball drops to White, eight yards out. Corner to England …
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30 min: Before the match I thought Jonas Eidevall in the BBC studio was being wildly OTT when he predicted England could happily score “three, four goals” this evening. You wouldn’t put it past them to score plenty more than that now – Norway have been all over the shop defensively.
GOAL! England 3-0 Norway (White 29)
This is a rout! A horrible moment for Thorisdottir, who dallies on the ball 30 yards from her own goal and is shrugged off it by White, who calmly strides forward and slips the ball under Pettersen.
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27 min: Mead sends a sensational cross into White at the back post, but she can only steer her volley wide of the upright.
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25 min: Reiten swings in a dangerous corner but Bright rises highest to head clear under pressure.
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23 min: Daly nips the ball away from Sævik but gets her studs caught underneath her and stays down, punching the turf in pain. The replay makes pretty unpleasant viewing but thankfully she is back on her feet in short order.
22 min: “If a million games were played every day for a million years that would never be a penalty,” writes JR in Illinois. “Here in the US our co-commentator Julie Foudy actually let out a laugh when she saw the first replay.”
21 min: Blakstad does brilliantly down the Norway left, skipping away from Mead then jinking past Bronze. She stands the ball up to Sævik at the back post, and she really should do better than shin her effort out of play. Norway’s brightest moment so far, it’s fair to say.
20 min: … which results in another … which is hammered away.
18 min: Bright does well to intercept a low Reiten cross. Norway have a corner …
17 min: It’s nearly three as a fizzing corner hits Hemp and heads goalwards. Pettersen drops on it gratefully.
GOAL! England 2-0 Norway (Hemp 15)
And England have their second! Mead is given the freedom of the penalty area and plays the ball across goal. White is ready to tap in at the back post, but Hemp pops up in front of her to turn home. The offside flag goes up – baffingly - and it doesn’t take long for VAR to overturn the decision and give the goal.
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14 min: Norway are reeling at the moment and England nearly make it two, Mead slipping in Stanway and her cross zipping across goal and evading everyone.
13 min: So an ideal start for England. The penalty was in my view … let’s say “soft”. But Stanway stuck it away with aplomb.
GOAL! England 1-0 Norway (Stanway 12pen)
Georgia Stanway steps up … and lashes her shot past Pettersen, high to the keeper’s right, to give England the lead.
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Penalty!
10 min: White turns Thorisdottir, then tumbles to the turf in instalments. But the referee points to the spot!
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8 min: Bronze intercepts and sends Stanway clear down the right but her attempted cross into the box is skewed horribly out for a goal kick. England just beginning to look brighter now.
7 min: Mjelde botches a clearance as England get on the front foot for the first time. It’s been a cagey, scrappy opening really.
5 min: Stanway looks to send Hemp away down the England left but her pass is a touch overhit and the Manchester City winger can’t keep the ball in play.
3 min: Blakstad has found a bit of space on the left in these early exchanges, and she sends in a dangerous cross from deep that England smuggle away.
2 min: Norway are first to settle and get their collective foot on the ball. They have England pinned in a little but a couple of attempts to get the ball into the final third lack accuracy.
Peep! Off we go then! Norway, in red and blue, get proceedings under way.
Click-clack, click-clack … the players are in the tunnel. And then they emerge to a raucous welcome.
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The Amex is filling up very nicely ahead of kick-off, though there are a fair few bare patches. Train delays are apparently the cause.
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Some pre-match emails: “Reporting live here from Brighton where a very youthful crowd (courtesy of school and club groups) has been issued, to a man, with a foldy card clapper thing,” writes Elliot Carr-Barnsley. “Come back vuvuzelas, please. It might be a little ott but it’s possible that people have been sent to the Hague for lesser crimes. Also, old man yells at cloud.”
And here’s Robin Burchfield: “Hi John, I thought you may wish to know that it’s flying ant day here in Brighton. The seagulls get a bit drunk from eating them, which makes their behaviour even more lairy than usual.”
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A ton of pre-match reading (and listening) for you
Leah Williamson is bringing the indie disco bangers to the England dressing room:
Never had Leah Williamson down as a fan of Jarvis Cocker. She was already high in the estimations & she’s just gone through the ceiling. pic.twitter.com/P0JYJLCrQm
— Ceylon Andi Hickman (@ceylonandi) July 11, 2022
Well, the Countdown to kick-off is on. Sjogren reckons England have got The Fear but, Joking Aside, I Spy an opportunity for them to seal progression to the quarter-finals with a performance full of Razzmatazz.
The lineups
England (probable 4-2-3-1): Earps; Bronze, Bright, Williamson, Daly; Walsh, Stanway; Mead, Kirby, Hemp; White.
Norway (probable 4-2-3-1): Pettersen; T Hansen, Mjelde (c), Thorisdottir, Blakstad; Boe Risea, Engen; Sævik, Graham Hansen, Reiten; Hegerberg.
So England are unchanged, while Norway make three changes with Sonstevold, Maanum and Eikeland dropping out and Tuva Hansen coming in at right-back, Vilde Bøe Risa into defensive midfield and and Karina Sævik likely wide on the right.
Northern Ireland have been beaten 2-0 by Austria over in Southampton, a result which keeps the Austrians in the hunt but more or less ends Northern Ireland’s hopes of an unlikely progression from the group.
Preamble
Hello all and welcome to what seems to be, to all intents and purposes, the Group A decider between England and Norway.
As we put it in the Fiver earlier:
The glorious winners will almost certainly top the group and go on to face the runners-up from Group B, either the ludicrously dominant Germany or the ridiculously impressive Spain. The dismal losers, meanwhile, will almost certainly finish second in the group and go on to face the winners of Group B, either the ludicrously dominant Spain or the ridiculously impressive Germany.
But despite that there’s probably something to be said for tournament momentum. The four nations to have won the women’s Euros as hosts, did they top their group? You better believe it, buster.
Indeed to find the last Euros host not to top their group you have to go all the way back to 2005 and … um … England, who crashed out early after finishing bottom. That’s not on the cards this time around, though, and you could argue that this tie is a bigger one for Norway, given they face an actually-pretty-decent Austria in their final group game.
