Emmerdale actor Jay Kontzle ’s life sounds like it could be straight out of a soap storyline.
The 32-year-old, who plays Billy Fletcher in the ITV show, was raised by his grandparents, Ann and Mike Kontzle, after his mum died when he was just four.
Tragedy struck when Louise, a DJ who played Manchester’s legendary Hacienda nightclub, was killed in a car crash on the way to a gig, aged 21.
Her parents then became kinship carers for young Jay, who says they sacrificed everything to bring him up.
“They gave up their whole lives to push me forward,” he said. “They got nothing for it and had no reason to do it other than their love for me.”
Kinship care is when a child lives with a relative or friend – usually because their parents are not able to care for them.
Unlike foster carers, who receive up to £22,000 a year per child, most kinship carers receive little or no financial or professional support, putting families under immense strain.
But dad-of-two Jay has teamed up with the charity Kinship to call on the Government for more urgent financial and emotional support.
More than 162,400 children are currently being raised within loving families in England and Wales – double the number of youngsters in foster care – and Jay realises his life could have been very different.
“If it wasn’t for my grandparents, I’d have been in care,” he said.
“My nan had to quit her job as a nurse to look after me, and my grandad had to work night shifts to earn more money, They really struggled to get by and used their pensions to care for me. I had the opportunity to play football and go to summer theatre school, which cost money. I know how expensive that stuff is now I have kids.”
Jay, who used to be in boy band The Mend, says the “best thing” about his youth was the fact Ann, now 71, and Mike, 74, took an interest in his life.
“It was tough for them but they never complained,” he said. “I appreciate it so much.”
Crewe-born Jay is still incredibly close to Ann – who is in a care home following a series of strokes – and Mike, who has leukaemia.
But Jay, who is dad to KaiBo, six, and Zian, four, and has another baby with wife Mimi on the way, says that if carers can access help and financial support, more children will be able to look forward to a better future.
“It would stop children from going into foster care, which could lead to more care,” he said.
“It prevents a child’s life being ruined, [which] in turn ruins them as an adult because they’ve been broken by it. That love from their family is something money can’t buy.”
Today, Jay paid tribute to his late mother on what would have been a milestone.
Posting a picture of the pair online, he wrote: “Happy birthday mum. Today would have been your 50th birthday.”
A survey of 1,500 carers by Kinship found eight in 10 were not receiving crucial support, leaving many in crisis.
More than a third of those warned they might be unable to continue to look after the children.
Durham University worker Stacy Porter is one of those struggling.
She took her newborn niece Georgie home from hospital as her mum couldn’t care for her. The 33-year-old never wanted kids but was suddenly raising a baby with no support. She said: “I wanted my niece to remain in the family where she was loved, otherwise she’d be placed in care.
“I took her home from hospital in just the clothes she was in. I had no time to prepare to look after her and didn’t have any savings. It was a very difficult time.”
After a special guardianship order was granted, Stacy received financial support for two years but got nothing else other than after-school funding.
She is now struggling to get through the cost-of-living crisis, having maxed out her credit card.
Stacy said: “I’ve had to contact family members to borrow money to get through the month.
“I’m constantly looking for food deals and buy it from places that sell it cheaper as it’s out of date.”
Stacy, from Durham, knows several kinship carers who worry about whether they can keep their children due to the lack of support – but she has no regrets about taking Georgie, now four, in.
She says: “This is 100% the hardest thing I’ve ever done and probably ever will do in my lifetime, but it’s 100% the most rewarding thing to see her grow and develop.
“I genuinely couldn’t imagine life without her now. I will fight tooth and nail to keep her safe.”
Kinship’s survey revealed that almost half of carers have had to give up their jobs to look after children, leaving nearly six in 10 borrowing money and forcing more to spend their life savings and pension pots. And now, as food prices rise and energy bills soar, four in 10 are skipping meals and two-thirds say they will keep the heating off this winter.
Wendy Turner, 69, from East Sussex, raised her grandchildren Callum, now 15, and Willow, 10, from babies following their mum’s personal struggles and subsequent death.
The bookkeeper quit her job and spent her life savings bringing up the children with her husband Len. She now survives on her state pension.
Wendy said: “Our lives instantly changed. It was the end of our retirement dreams and plans, and the end of my career.” Wendy is also anxious about the coming winter. She said: “I have just about been coping but things have got worse with the cost-of-living crisis and I’m worried.
“Nearly all the food in my kitchen has yellow reduced-price stickers.”
Echoing Jay and Kinship’s calls, she added: “I love the children more than anything, but kinship carers should not be in this desperate situation,
“We need a financial allowance the same as foster carers, as we’re keeping families together rather than letting children go into the care system.”
Visit https://valueourlove.kinship.org.uk/ to sign the petition for financial and emotional support for kinship carers
