Emmerdale actor Ash Palmisciano, who plays the soap's first transgender character, has spoken about the heartbreak of losing his mum.
This week, Ash's character Matty Barton is plunged into family turmoil when he discovers he has been betrayed by his mum Moira and girlfriend Amy, who lied to him that Cain shot dead former Woolpack co-owner Al Chapman when it was actually Kyle, writes The Mirror.
However, the soap family drama couldn't be further from Ash’s real life as he says he feels incredibly lucky dad Adrian and mum Michelle showered him and younger sister Sophie with love.
This makes the loss of his beloved mum in May to complications from long-term rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 60 even more devastating. The 32-year-old said: “Mum was a true inspiration to us all. Not only was she an amazing mum to my sister Sophie and I, she was also such a fantastic wife and nanna too.
“Poor Matty has had a rough time in Emmerdale, but there has always been so much love in my family home and Mum was the most important person in my life. Grief is such a beast that is uncontrollable and you are not prepped for it. We don’t talk about loss and it’s something we will all face in our lives. It’s been a terrible year and I am finding it hard.”
This festive season will be the family's first without her, but Ash knows his family will pull together to recreate Michelle’s “fantastic energy” and make it fun for his niece and nephew.
He says: “Mum was so strong and so brave. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 29 but she suffered from it secretly because she wanted to fill our lives with positivity.
“She was very glamorous, worked, did the school run and was always checking in with me and my sister to make sure we were okay.
“She was a miracle because she had so many health scares in her life from the effects of it – and despite her health battles she was brave and dignified until the end.”
The soap star says it will be hard, but they will get through. He adds: “I am sure we will all have our moments. But we want to recreate her amazing spirit and energy for her two grandkids, as she was such a fantastic nanna. We want to make it fun for them – and if she is watching we are hoping she will be impressed.”
Michelle, Adrian and Sophie were supportive when Ash, who was assigned female at birth, decided to transition in 2012.
He said: “When I decided to face the truth of who I was and talk about it, I found I was more comfortable as Ash. Mum did what she always did best – she made a cup of tea, was very supportive and backed me all the way.”
He recalls a hospital check-up when a nurse said something wrong and Michelle stepped in.
“Mum said, ‘Excuse me, he is my son, and he is transgendering’. It is transitioning, and she got the words mixed up, but Mum wanted to get it right for me.
“She would pick out documentaries on TV for me to watch and share stories to read to help. She was so positive and one of her big messages was from a favourite quote of hers by Regina Brett, ‘No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up’.”
Seeing his mother not letting her illness take over became a powerful life lesson. Ash says: “She wanted to make everyone happy. She was my inspiration to get me where I am now.”
Another strong woman in Ash’s life is his girlfriend Shea, who he has been dating for just over a year. He said: “I knew she was a good egg when we met, but Shea has been so incredibly supportive over the past few months. She spent last Christmas with us and I’m glad Mum got to meet her a few times before she died.
“We’ve been through a lot in a short space of time, but I believe lockdown taught us all that you know straight away if something’s meant to be.”
Ash landed his big-break role of Matty after being invited by a charity to act as a trans storyline consultant for Emmerdale. The casting director was so impressed by his passion and knowledge and, despite having only had a few minor acting roles before then, he was asked to attend an audition and won the part – a “dream come true”.
Now Ash loves being Matty, formerly known as Hannah, who was played by Grace Cassidy between 2009 and 2012, but who had transitioned before arriving back in the village in June 2018.
From Wednesday, Matty will be at the heart of a big storyline with massive repercussions when he finds out his mum and girlfriend lied to him about the identity of Al’s killer. Michelle was over the moon when Ash landed the role.
He says: “She was so proud, as are all my family and I absolutely love playing him. It’s been great to be part of the recent Emmerdale 50th birthday celebrations and Matty has managed to dodge a few bullets! But poor Matty is in for a rough ride when he realises he has been betrayed by his mum and girlfriend.
“They have both left the village with Kyle, who all the viewers know killed Al.
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