Ed Sheeran has said he felt he “didn’t want to live any more” after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards and discovering his pregnant wife Cherry had been diagnosed with a tumour, with the popstar seeking therapy.
Music entrepreneur Jamal, who founded the music platform SBTV in 2006 which helped launch Ed's career, died in February 2022 at the age of 31.
His death came shortly after Ed's wife of four years, Cherry Seaborn, was told by doctors while six months pregnant that she needed surgery for a tumour that could not take place until after she had given birth to the couple’s second child.
The pop superstar, 32, said that although Seaborn carried their daughter, Jupiter, to term and had successful surgery in June, he felt “so powerless” at the time.
Meanwhile, the night before he learned of Jamal's death, Ed said he was out for dinner with pop star pal Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn, and was texting Jamal about plans to shoot a video the next day.
Ed told Rolling Stone: “Twelve hours later, he was dead. My best friend died. And he shouldn’t have done.”
He continued: “I felt like I didn’t want to live any more. And I have had that throughout my life.
“You’re under the waves drowning. You’re just sort of in this thing. And you can’t get out of it.
“I’ve always had real lows in my life. But it wasn’t really till last year that I actually addressed it.”
Ed said that as a father he felt “really embarrassed” by his seemingly “selfish” thoughts, and said it was Cherry who worked out what was going on and advised him to see a therapist.
He said: “No-one really talks about their feelings where I come from. People think it’s weird getting a therapist in England.
“I think it’s very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting.”
During the same time period Ed won a high court battle after two songwriters claimed his 2017 hit Shape Of You infringed copyright of their song Oh Why, and also saw the death of another friend, Australian cricket star Shane Warne, in early March 2022.
Ed, whose upcoming album is titled – (the mathematical symbol for subtract) is set for release on May 5, also said he has five more albums using another category of symbols, wanting the last in the series to be released after he dies.
He added that he has a completed album with reggaeton superstar J Balvin with no release date in sight and has written a song for the new season of Ted Lasso.
It comes after Ed delivered an emotional tribute to the late SBTV founder Jamal Edwards in a beautiful track which was released online last month.
Wearing a blue jumper and jeans, the music icon begins to rap: “Yo Jam, this is a letter to you, it's been a while but it's been hard for me to get in the booth.
“Since we last spoke I've become a father of two trying to live life with a smile but that's been harder to do. Because all I want to do is talk about you, but these tears won't let me talk about you. We should have known that we'd be lost without you.“
DJ and music entrepreneur Edwards, who was made an MBE for his services to music in 2014, died on February 20 last year at the age of 31.
Shortly after Jamal’s death, Sheeran shared an Instagram post of the younger-looking pair with the caption: “I haven’t posted anything coz I can’t find the words, I can’t reply coz I don’t know what to say.
“Jamal is my brother. His light shone so bright. He only used it to illuminate others and never asked for anything in return.
“A star’s light shines for millions of years after they go, and his will continue to light up every dark moment, we are all witnessing his power. I would not be here without him, professionally and personally.
“There will never be anything close to what he is, but I’m so grateful to have existed within his orbit. My brother, come on.”
The beautiful track dedicated to Jamal came after his mum, Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, praised Ed for spending days on end comforting her family after Jamal's tragic death.
Speaking on Good Morning Britain ahead of the anniversary of her son’s death, 53-year-old Edwards spoke about Sheeran’s song, which he has dedicated to Jamal.
“Ed sent me the final edit two days ago and I’ve kind of been in and out of crying ever since,” she said.
Brenda continued: “When Jamal passed he was literally at my house with me and Tanisha for a whole week just looking after us.
“There wasn’t anything that he wasn’t sorting out and doing if we needed anything, and everybody has been so so wonderful and so supportive.”
Brenda's beloved son Jamal gained fame after setting up the music platform SBTV in 2006 and was credited with helping to launch a string of UK music acts to stardom, including Sheeran, Dave and Jessie J.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
