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National
David Huntley

Durham volunteer finds new purpose in life after tragic deaths of daughter and husband

When Christine Tracey's husband and daughter sadly passed away, her mental health plummeted.

Following the deaths of her closest family members, Christine became too frightened to drive, too worried to open her own post and was even afraid to leave her own home. The 63-year-old battled depression as she struggled with her grief, but she finally gained valuable support from Arch Recovery College in Durham, and her life finally changed for the better.

Christine, who is a former social worker but is now retired, is now helping others get through dark times in their life and is volunteering with Arch, and now spends much of her time leading walks around the city.

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“I’ve always loved caring, that’s why I became a social worker, so it’s come full circle for me now", Christine said, "but this time I can really connect when people say they are in a dark place. Now, after being in the darkest of dark places myself, I can appreciate what people are going through. I love helping, and I love being part of the whole ethos of what Arch does.

"It's as if I’ve been given a second chance at life, and at caring – but in a different way. Now I don’t have work targets, I can just help people. And that is what I love to do.”

Christine Tracey, 63, is now helping others deal with loss (Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust)

Christine's life changed drastically in 2010, when her 21-year-old daughter Sarah died of a seizure. Although Sarah had suffered from Crohn’s disease and later epilepsy, her death was completely unexpected. The health of Chris’s husband, Trace, also sadly deteriorated in the years following Sarah’s death and, in 2016, he underwent major heart surgery - but tragically, he died just a few weeks later.

“It was horrific, my whole world was taken away from me,” said Christine, who lives near Durham, “I tried to cope by going back to work, to keep a routine, but I burned myself out. I actually struggled on for three years, but it wasn’t good, and I found it very hard. Then one day it got too much for me and I just packed up my work locker, cleared my desk and left.”

Christine was left in a dark place and could see no way out. She became too frightened to drive, too worried to open her own post and eventually too terrified to leave her own home. She continued: “My husband had retired to look after Sarah, so I needed to work to bring in a salary. I felt I had to try and pretend I was strong and do everything, even after her death.

“But when Trace died, I became scared of everything. It was a really dark place I was in, and I knew I needed help. I should have opened up before everything spiralled out of control.” By the time Christine finally sought help, life had become overwhelmingly frightening. As part of her treatment a safe room was developed in her house and her adoption of an RSPCA rescue pet also helped, as the little dog would snuggle up to her in the safe room – often for several days at a time – bringing her comfort.

Christine's life finally improved when her social worker introduced her to Arch Recovery College, at St Margaret’s Health Centre, Durham – although it took her several attempts to go inside. She said: “I turned up at Arch a couple of times but walked away. Eventually I ended up being invited in for a coffee after I arrived late for a walking session and found that I’d missed it.

“It was difficult, very difficult, as it was the first time I’d talked about my situation. It made me realise I wasn’t alone – and that there are lots of people out there like me. When you are at Arch you feel safe, you really do. After that first coffee I went back for a walk the next week, then joined the running group – which helped get me through Covid. Everyone understands where you are coming from – it’s like having an extended family. People are there for you, they help get you through the hard times.”

Christine continues to look after her mental health through exercise, including sea swimming and dog walking, as well as volunteering on a regular basis at Arch. She added: “I believe Arch saved my life. From day one you feel valued – and it’s very difficult when you’ve come from a dark place to believe you are actually really valued. Everybody respects and values whoever walks through that door – to a degree that I’d like to say that we make them feel special. That’s what they did for me – they made me feel I could achieve things, and that I was worth it. It’s not every day that you can find a place like that. It was like finding a new home.”

Tracey Chapman, Operations Manager for Arch Recovery College, said: “We support personal recovery through learning achievement. “It is an opportunity for people to develop skills and explore opportunities which will support them in their recovery journey.”

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