At least as far as the NSW Electoral Commission is concerned, the oldest person on earth (in fact, the oldest person in history) is 124 years old, living in Dungog, and so energetic in their venerable years that they're running for council election in September.
To put that in perspective, the last person to hold the title of oldest living human was 117-year-old American-born Spaniard Maria Branyas Morera, who credited her advanced longevity to "staying away from toxic people".
She never met Topics, but don't read too much into that.
For a local example, long-standing former mayor Bruce MacKenzie relinquished his plans for another mayoral run at Port Stephens this year because he would only be 90 - comparative spring chicken - by the end of the term.
Still, we can only assume that the 140-odd Liberal candidates whose chances of election were dashed when the intern missed the submission deadline will be furious to learn that, according to the Electoral Commission, candidates can be as old as Methuselah for all it cares, they just can't be late.
Prospective Dungog Ward C councillor Alexandria Carruthers, whose candidate profile for September's vote lists her date of birth as July 18, 1900, wasn't especially pleased to learn that she outstrips the oldest living human by a full eight years but confirmed Topics was the first to have called her about it, which might be the only time on record that this column has ever broke news to anyone, so we're taking it as a win.
Ms Carruthers, who was actually born in 1990, confirmed that her reported age was nothing more than an innocent typo. The '9' is right next to the '0' on the keyboard, she said, and if we needed any further examples of typos, we could always take a look at the Topics column.
Notwithstanding our graciously afforded time to consider the allegory of how the pot met the kettle, we decided to throw caution to the wind (and a few more stones in glass houses) and do some enterprising and absolutely morally defensible journalism.
According to our new friends at the NSW Electoral Commission, what saved Ms Carruthers was that her date of birth is listed in the "Optional" section of the candidate profile, and the legislation only technically requires the bit in the "Compulsory" section.
"Local government election legislation requires certain information to be provided in the candidate information sheet, which is the information in the compulsory section of the form," a spokesperson said. "The candidate information sheet is a statutory declaration, however, this mistake has no effect on its validity or the validity of the nomination."
More than a few candidates left parts of that section blank, which includes other optional questions about the candidate's education, employment, membership in any non-political organisations, and experience.
The incumbent councillor, Michael Tobin, for example, is a retired architectural draftsman and a member of the National Trust. He's running for re-election at 76 as a "mature person with much life experience". Nobody tell him.
Incumbent mayor and retired barrister John Connors is running for re-election at 77. He has been a councillor since 2017 and was elected mayor in 2020. According to his profile, in which he capitalises every word in the sentence, he is running to address Dungog's endemic infrastructural challenges.
And Ward A incumbent and mayoral candidate Michael Dowling is running for re-election and mayor after a first term on council. Mr Dowling rose in public profile a few years ago as a vocal local advocate for the NSW Government reconsidering building Tillegra Dam in the Lower Hunter, a large-scale and effectively abandoned water project only slightly less popular in the state's esteem than building a wall along the Queensland border to keep the pineapples out.
Ms Carruthers, a first-time candidate, has worked as a communications and marketing specialist in various jobs in the Hunter since 2013, including a stint in a state electoral office around 2021. She has contested the council because she believes it could benefit from more diverse representation.
If elected, she would actually be the youngest councillor in the shire by a margin and potentially the only woman if incumbent Jessica Clark and candidate Karen Drinan - the only other women on the ticket - fail in their bids for Ward B.
Ms Carruthers, who is affiliated with the Labor party, said the shire needed a "robust economic strategy" to cope with its massive road and bridge network compared to its relatively minuscule ratepayer base, which has traditionally left the council reliant on higher government grants to cover the cost of doing business.
She has also promised to advocate for an updated Rural Lands Strategy - the document that lays out the shire's plan for sustainable land use and development - which has been stuck in a bureaucratic slow lane since it was last updated in 2003.
"My primary concern is ensuring the Shire remains resilient and is future-proof," she said. "Politics is a powerful avenue for contributing to society and, more importantly, the communities you care about. It provides a platform to effect change and shape the future at all levels of government.
"Overall, the inclusion of young people in local government can lead to more dynamic, representative, and forward-thinking governance."
About Topics:
- Topics is the Newcastle Herald's daily humour column exploring stories that shape the unique cultural identity of Newcastle, its suburbs, and the Hunter region. Simon McCarthy is a Herald journalist and feature writer covering culture, local news, and community issues in the region since 2017. He has been the Topics correspondent since 2023. Contact the writer via email. To read more from Topics, visit the Herald's opinion section.
