Drew Barrymore has opened up about the complicated relationship she has with her mother after reflecting on her tumultuous childhood.
The talk show host's troubled life growing up in the spotlight soon after making her acting debut at the age of seven in the iconic Steven Spielberg flick ET has been heavily documented.
In the past, Drew has spoken frequently about how her mother, Jaid, had "exploited her" while taking her to Hollywood nightclubs as young as nine, where she would join in the partying and also where she had her first drink. That catapulted to little Drew using cocaine by the time she was twelve.
And now reflecting on her life as a child star, and in particular, her relationship with her mother, the Never Been Kissed star admitted that she "couldn't wait" for her mother "to be gone", to the point that she is jealous of her friends who had lost their parents.
"All their moms are gone, and my mom's not. I don't have that luxury. But I cannot wait," she expressed.
The 48-year-old added to New York magazine : "I don't want to live in a state where I wish someone to be gone sooner than they're meant to be so I can grow. I actually want her to be happy and thrive and be healthy. But I have to f***ing grow in spite of her being on this planet."
However, after reflecting on her comments, she later expressed regret, saying that she still "cares" about her mother, Jaid, 77.
"I didn't feel good [saying that]. I do care. I'll never not care. I don't know if I've ever known how to fully guard, close off, not feel, build the wall up," she explained.
Drew's tumultuous childhood saw her legally divorcing her parents when she was 14.
Explaining her decision and the reaction in the courtroom when it was finalised, the actress told PEOPLE last year: "I'll never forget the judge saying, 'You never have to go to school again.
This comes after Drew's drug and alcohol addiction in her younger years saw her "blacklisted" by Hollywood movie studios around the age of twelve. By the age of thirteen, Drew had been in drug rehabilitation twice, which she credited as the best thing that had ever happened to her.
In an interview with YOU magazine, she said: "My mum put me there because she couldn't cope with me any more, but it was the best thing that happened to me.
"It taught me boundaries. Until that point, I had none."
Drew said she wasn't able to leave the institution during her stay. She continued: "I realised, honestly, yeah, my mom locked me up in an institution. Boo hoo! But it did give an amazing discipline.
"It was like serious recruitment training and boot camp, and it was horrible and dark and very long-lived, a year and a half, but I needed it. I needed that whole insane discipline."
