A number of words and phrases people use every day can be very damaging to mental health, according to Dr Alex George. The former Love Island star was speaking as part of a new podcast - ‘ The Doctor Will Hear You Now’ .
He was a guest of the series host NHS GP and media medic, Dr Zoe Williams. In partnership with Bupa, the 10-episode podcast series sees Dr Zoe joined by celebrity guests who have been impacted by a range of health conditions.
This week on ‘The Doctor Will Hear You Now’, Dr Zoe is joined by Dr Alex George, who is on a mission to educate and raise awareness of mental health, and is known for his activism for policy change on a government level. Dr Alex has presented for Lorraine, Watchdog and runs the popular podcast, The Waiting Room.
In this week’s episode, Dr Zoe and Dr Alex talk about damaging stereotypes of eating disorders, toxic masculinity, and being considerate with your words.
Dr Alex began his appearance on the show taking about eating disorders. He said: “The problem with stereotypes is that they can be helpful to have an example of how something looks, but if that becomes a diagnostic criteria, like: you're either like this, or you don't have it. That's where the real issue is. One of the things that is not spoken enough about, is how much eating disorders affect men. We have an idea that it just affects women, and that's not the case, we do know in terms of the diagnosis there are more diagnoses of women each year than men, but that doesn't mean it's not a significant number of men. Also, what's interesting is that in men it can often present differently as well. It might be someone who has got a six pack, and big muscles, and looks what society would view as healthy
"It's about the relationship with the food, the behaviour, the way that we view ourselves, and the way that we treat our own body, and weaponize food, even. So, that idea of whether the ‘six pack’ guy that's got big muscles, is really healthy, well actually, he could have a very unhealthy relationship with food, he could be over exercising, overtraining, maybe using substances such as steroids, which have serious health consequences, to achieve those goals. That is as much of an eating disorder as what we learned in med school to be a ‘typical’ eating disorder.”
Dr Alex also tackled toxic masculinity, said: “I think there's a big conversation about masculinity at the moment, an important conversation on what it means to be masculine and how we define that, and therefore, what does toxic masculinity look like? When I was growing up, I lived in West Wales, surrounded by rugby and sport, and I guess the idea of being a man in West Wales is like big, and strong, playing rugby, and I was quite a skinny teenager.
"I think it is an example of toxic masculinity, whereby the idea of masculinity is such that if you're not in that place, and you need to achieve, do whatever you can to achieve that. I'd say out of my six closest friends, probably four of them were using, or had used, steroids and I still know people in my life that I grew up with that still use them, because there's still a lot of that culture. I'm very passionate around the point of thinking about what masculinity means, for several reasons, one of which I think it's really important: I don't think we should get rid of masculinity, I don't think anyone wants to get rid of masculinity, I think men and young boys need to have an identity for them to aim for, but I think it's, it's re-addressing it. When I grew up, the idea of showing weakness, of not being a leader, of not showing emotion and these kinds of things, these were emasculating things. Whereas now, my idea of masculinity can be, you can follow female leadership, you can show weakness and be strong, basically the idea that you can be someone that shares a range of your emotions, and is able to admit when they need help and stuff and still be masculine.”
Dr Zoe said: “We're learning more now, aren't we? I think understanding more, and the message is getting out there, that actually being brave enough to be vulnerable, and showing emotion, I think we're getting to a point where that is now starting to be celebrated, and the word brave and vulnerability being put into the same sentence.
Dr Alex added: “There's the analogy that you know, stoicism and the idea of being a masculine man of the past: bullets bounce off me, I'm so strong and resilient to everything, I don't succumb to pressure. But, we know that if you're not able to be flexible, and be able to flow with, and learn when to adapt, and actually if you’ve got enough pressure, you'll break almost like a branch on a tree. Whereas what you want to happen is that you can bend and flex, and return to your original state. I think for me then, the idea of strength and resilience is actually being able to recognise when you're under pressure, understand how to adapt, know who to turn to.”
And Dr Alex said we all need to be more careful with our choice of words. He said: “You know, I think it shouldn't get to the point where you can't use the word ‘crazy’ or like, you know, there's certain words in certain contexts that I don't think are harmful - others might disagree, and that's absolutely fine. There are certain things that I would say are in the realms of being used so widely, that they have no association, but phrases like ‘committed suicide’ really do, and they are so heavily laden. Someone saying, ‘oh, that person's a bit bipolar’, for example, is very, very damaging and harmful.”
Dr Zoeadded: "Or ‘a bit OCD’, as well. That's one that you hear all the time!”
Dr Alex replied: “Or even ADHD… ‘everyone's a bit ADHD’. It is so devaluing for a whole group of people, and that's where we saw recent documentaries that have been done around ADHD, and I think largely have caused quite a bit of damage. You know, people in the ADHD community are saying, well, we're made out to seem like we’ve made this up, or that it’s a soft diagnosis, and actually, anyone who has ADHD can say that it's very, very difficult to deal with. I've learned that so much of my own mental health struggles in life have actually been because I didn't understand how I was and that I had ADHD. That has really helped me in terms of finding my homeostasis, my kind of balance in life, and just understanding that I am different to other people.”
Each week, Dr Zoe and her guest will delve into a medical condition, sharing real, human experiences and stories as part of a sensitive and relatable conversation. The second half of the episode sees the pair joined by a specialist clinician from Bupa with expert knowledge on the episode’s topic. Here, listeners will get expert insight and advice, as well as answers to questions from Dr Zoe and our guest. ‘The Doctor Will Hear You Now’ is a place to listen and learn, deepening understanding of these conditions and their impact.
