As Don’t Look Down begins, the words “10 terrified celebrities” flash up on the screen, so large that it looks as if this is the real title of the show. It is not, of course, but there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be. Over the years, television has invested a lot of time and money in the business of terrifying and even potentially injuring celebrities, whether on I’m a Celebrity, The Jump or Dancing on Ice. You could drop Ten Terrified Celebrities into the weekly listings and nobody would bat an eyelid.
There are a few I’m a Celebrity graduates on Don’t Look Down but, thankfully, there’s no suggestion of them eating testicles again. This is a charity event, put on in aid of Stand Up to Cancer. Ten Terrified Celebrities – who are afraid of heights specifically, rather than just generally afraid at all times – have agreed to head off to the Austrian Alps for a couple of weeks, where they will train for a high-wire challenge. The challenge itself, revealed early in the first episode, will be very high indeed, as the contestants who make it through to the end of the programme will attempt to relay across a high wire, 650ft long, 100ft above the London Stadium, formerly the Olympic Stadium. Even if they weren’t afraid of heights, it would be a spectacular thing to pull off.
They are being trained by Jade Kindar-Martin, a famous high-wire walker and world record holder, who makes trotting along a thin cable in socks, at a great height, without safety ropes, look like the most natural activity in the world. Kindar-Martin seems like a zen sort of man, even though they do point out in the voiceover that he invented an activity called “fire high wire”. He is here to teach the troops how to do it, and to soothe them when their fears start to seem insurmountable.
In the first part of Kindar-Martin’s programme, which is called Fear, and is dedicated to seeing just how scared of heights they all are, this happens quite a lot. (The other stages will be Focus, Teamwork and Self-Belief.) The celebrities are sorted into pairs, and must then chuck themselves off the Benni Raich suspension bridge, in the Tyrol region, which is almost 100m high. They’re on a rope, but they leap off backwards, after pulling on a safety catch thing – I’m sure there is a technical term – that resembles the pin on a grenade. Team captain and sort-of presenter Paddy McGuinness goes first, as any good captain should, taking former Corrie star Beverley Callard with him. They tumble in slow motion, screaming as they fall and sway.
I had no idea it would be such a beautiful sight. Former Pussycat Doll Kimberley Wyatt is strapped to adventurer Charlie Boorman, and whoosh, off they go (or at least they do eventually, I don’t want to spoil the drama, but “Look at him, he’s fucked” is not what I’d want to hear when dangling off a bridge). Podcaster Fats Timbo and Olympian Victoria Pendleton set themselves free and fall with grace. Footballers David Ginola and Anton Ferdinand overcome Ferdinand’s strong wobbles and dive spectacularly through the air. It’s art. Every celebrity in the world should have to do this for cancer research, and we could pay to stream the slo-mos for ever.
Then former Love Island star Chris Humphries and influencer Grace Barry have a go, and they bicker as though they’ve been married for 50 years and someone’s lost the remote control again. It is not quite so beautiful, but it is lovely all the same.
This is taking place to raise money for cancer research, and most of the participants have had their lives affected by cancer in some way. For all the good humour and gusto with which they approach the task at hand, it is also emotional. Everyone has a story to tell, and they do so with raw honesty. There is also a sense of tenacity and triumph that is surprisingly heartwarming. On a later challenge, which I would describe as holding hands with someone while walking over a very gappy wooden bridge, people have to overcome not only their fears, but their expectations of themselves and what they are capable of achieving. Also, Barry has to overcome falling into Ginola at a very awkward height. “I’m in David’s crotch!” she shouts, not uncheerfully.
I am not afraid of heights, but I have it on good authority that even the trailer is enough to make those who are scared of heights “feel sick”. Kudos, then, to the very game, very brave, often screaming Ten Terrified Celebrities.
• Don’t Look Down for SU2C is on Channel 4 now.
