After a week like this, all we can do to keep from crying is laugh. So let’s try and do a serious breakdown of the NFL’s conveniently timed (what Deshaun Watson thing?) punishment of the Dolphins without shooting milk from our noses.
This investigation, understandably, has a great number of tentacles. Tom Brady is involved, and with Brady being involved, the Patriots, Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft are involved. The Buccaneers, Bruce Arians and Todd Bowles are involved. Sean Payton is involved, which means the Saints are also involved. Brian Flores is involved. Owner Stephen Ross’s reputation has been seriously damaged. The team has been stripped of draft picks, which makes GM Chris Grier and new coach Mike McDaniel also tangentially affected or involved.
First, the particulars: The league stripped the Dolphins of their 2023 first-round pick and 2024 third-round pick, fined Ross $1.5 million and suspended him through Oct. 17, and fined limited partner Bruce Beal $500,000, in addition to banning him from all league meetings this year for one of the most blatant violations of the NFL’s tampering policy in league history. Commissioner Roger Goodell said in a release announcing the punishment that it was “unprecedented [in] scope and severity. I know of no prior instance of a team violating the prohibition on tampering with both a head coach and star player, to the potential detriment of multiple other clubs, over a period of several years.”
