Admittedly, weddings and ex-partners don’t seem like a compatible or exciting pairing. But if the previous relationship ended on peaceful terms, the future married couple may consider inviting them to celebrate the special day together for the sake of their friendship.
When this groom and his family decided to extend an invitation to his ex-girlfriend, the bride wasn’t exactly pleased about it. After telling them many times that she didn’t wish to see such a guest at the wedding and getting ignored, she took action, and not the good kind.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Chelsey Morin, wedding planner and coordinator at Double Blessing Events, who kindly agreed to tell us more about weddings and ex-partners.
The combination of weddings and ex-partners seems like a disaster waiting to happen
Image credits: Trần Long / pexels (not the actual photo)
This special day even got canceled when the groom insisted on inviting his ex-girlfriend
Image credits: Nadtochii / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SuperbTarget9054
“Are you both okay with the ex attending your wedding?”
Image credits: Jeremy Wong / pexels (not the actual photo)
One of the most trusted experts on etiquette, William Hanson, says that it’s pretty much a hard and fast rule not to invite an ex-partner to the wedding. “It’s just going to be awkward for them and you.”
But there seems to be an exception. “Unless, that is, it was so long ago and you have moved well into the ‘friend’ zone and there are, hand on heart, no feelings towards them from your side then perhaps it is acceptable.” If the breakup was recent and still quite a raw subject, the couple may want to avoid it for the sake of both of them.
Meanwhile, Chelsey Morin, wedding planner and coordinator at Double Blessing Events tells Bored Panda, “This truly depends on each and every couple and what they are comfortable with. Someone else’s future husband or wife might not care in the least if you invite your former significant other, but your future husband/wife might prefer you don’t. Open, honest, and clear communication with each other is key.”
She also urges partners to think about several other factors. “Number one, are you both okay with the ex attending your wedding? Number two, is the ex unhealthy or toxic? Number three, would them not being there affect how much you enjoyed your special day? Would you miss them if they weren’t there? Number four, why are you wanting to invite them? Is it because there’s a genuine friendship with healthy boundaries? Or is it another reason that might not be a good one?”
“It is normal to feel a little weird or uncomfortable if your future spouse wants their ex at the wedding”
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)
In case a future spouse insists on inviting their ex, it’s important to speak up and explain why it makes you uncomfortable. A wedding is supposed to be one of the most special days of your life, and having a reminder of your partner’s previous relationships can really put a damper on it.
“It is normal to feel a little weird or uncomfortable if your future spouse wants their ex at the wedding, especially if it was a serious relationship. The biggest thing here is to understand why they want to invite their ex to the wedding,” says Morin.
“Then, after you’ve listened and heard why, you can say, “I understand you want to invite your ex because _____. When I hear this, it makes me feel _______. I’m not going to force you to make a certain decision either way, but I just want to let you know where I stand and how this makes me feel.” And then trust that they will make the best decision for them. The only thing you can do is listen, understand where they’re coming from, share how you’re feeling, and leave their actions up to the,” she concludes.
If you’re a former partner who is invited to the wedding, it might be a good idea to take a breather and think through it. “Assess the ‘weird’ factor for yourself based on your individual situation,” suggests Alexandra Denniston, owner and lead planner at Eventlightenment Planning.
“If you’ll be an outlier guest…maybe consider declining the invite. Everyone’s relationship with their ex is different, so ultimately it depends on your unique situation as to whether it is appropriate or comfortable to invite an ex (or attend an ex’s wedding)!”
The author provided more information in the comments
Some readers thought that the cancelation was justified
Meanwhile, others believed differently
