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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
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Emma Beddington

Do we ever stop feeling anxious, angry or sad about relationships? Not if my older friends are any guide

Intergenerational friends talking
‘Knowing people in their 70s and 80s gives me a more expansive sense of community and broader, fresher perspectives’ … Photograph: Posed by models; PeopleImages/Getty Images

I’ve always felt a bit pathetic for not having a proper peer group. In dark moments, it feels like a moral failing and an indictment of my social skills. In kinder moments I recognise it’s also partly a product of being sick and sad at university, then successively too pregnant, too preoccupied with babies and too peripatetic to make or maintain ties. In calmer times, I’ve forged slightly more of a social life, but mostly it’s not made up of my gen X peers, but rather people who are occasionally younger, usually significantly older. Now I’m wondering – am I lucky?

This thought was prompted by an Atlantic podcast discussing the demographic moment we’re living in – the usual pyramidal population structure is becoming squarer, with similar numbers of older and younger people – and asking whether we’re making the most of it. The conclusion was we probably aren’t.

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