Divorce is hard, and it can happen due to many factors. Couples who come to the decision to separate don’t take it lightly. It’s interesting to note that nearly 52% of divorced people feel their self-esteem improved after breaking it off with their partner. That’s because many individuals feel motivated to work on themselves after such a big life change.
One man on Reddit also underwent a dramatic transformation post-divorce. But he was in for a shock when he realized that his ex-wife wasn’t happy for him at all.
More info: Reddit
Man went through the best post-divorce glow-up, but his salty ex-wife could not stand seeing him happy and began saying nasty things about him to his friends and their kids
Image credits: AllGo – An App For Plus Size People (not the actual photo)
49 Y.O. balding and overweight man decided to change his life after divorce, and in the past 2 years has become lean, got tattoos, shaved his head, started using a hair system, and found a 33 Y.O. GF
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The man felt more confident in his body and decided to post a shirtless picture online, which led to a barrage of texts from his kids and friends who did not know about all his lifestyle changes
Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Solutions (not the actual photo)
But his ex-wife was the only unsupportive one; she sent him nasty messages telling him to act his age, calling him “immature,” and saying he was having a “mid-life crisis”
Image credits: u/indigocottonfarmer
He even found out from his kids and friends that there were group chats about him where people were gossiping about his life and his young girlfriend
The Original Poster (OP) is a 49-year-old man. He got divorced from his 48-year-old partner. The man explained that he had been quite overweight and balding, which made him look like an average middle-aged dad. He had sacrificed a lot for his family and did not take care of himself. That was only something he realized in retrospect.
After the divorce, the poster moved to another state. He began going to the gym and became lean after 2 years of hard work. He also got tattoos, shaved his head bald, and began dating a 33-year-old woman. His girlfriend even convinced him to get a hair piece, which made him look much younger than his age.
One day when he came out of the shower, he felt confident in his body and decided to post a shirtless picture online. His hairpiece, fit body, and clean-shaved face made him look quite different. He received a lot of messages from his friends and kids, who were shocked to see his transformation.
The only person who was not happy for him was his ex-wife, who began sending him rude messages. She accused him of not acting his age and said that he was having a mid-life crisis. According to Forbes, “criteria for midlife crises are not well-defined and may differ from person to person, but they’re often marked by strong feelings, unhealthy coping skills, and behavior changes, according to experts.” In this case, the OP was not engaging in unhealthy behavior; he was working hard to improve his life.
His ex-partner even took issue with the fact that he was dating a younger woman. She kept bombarding him with hateful messages and created group chats to gossip about his life. The man could not understand why his ex-wife was so enraged by his healthy lifestyle.
It might be surprising to learn that the man’s ex kept tabs on him and took issue with his new way of living. Studies have shown that nearly 9 out of 10 people stalk their exes on social media, and they keep tabs on their ex’s new partners. This could explain why the poster’s ex-wife was so obsessed with him and his new girlfriend.
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
Although the man’s ex accused him of going through a mid-life change, it’s been observed that only 10–20% of people have actually experienced a mid-life crisis. Usually, the behaviors observed in people might be more negative, such as rumination over missed life opportunities, restlessness, irritability, idealizing the past, impulsivity, and many other sudden changes.
The unfortunate part of the whole situation is how the ex-wife involved the children in the drama. When a couple goes through divorce, it’s important that they try and resolve their problems on their own without bringing the kids in between. Here are a few things divorcing couples should avoid:
- Criticizing the other parent in front of the children
- Using the kids as messengers to the other parent
- Asking the children for information about the other parent
- Making the kid a confidante
Research shows that divorce can be beneficial for both partners, but in some cases, jealousy and insecurity can get the best of people. The author’s ex-wife was clearly dealing with some unresolved feelings, which is why she was trying to force her opinions on her ex-husband.
Commenters were quick to side with the man and told him to keep working on himself and not to pay attention to what anyone else had to say. Some people were also confused as to why his kids were unaware of his lifestyle changes. They encouraged him to spend more time with his kids and to keep them in the loop.
What do you think about OP’s glow-up, and do you feel his wife was justified in saying he was going through a mid-life crisis? Share your thoughts in the comments.